The Bet
by Giselle2013
Summary: Alice and Edward have made a bet. Edward isn't allowed to touch Bella. Alice isn't allowed to go shopping. This story is filled with outrageous costumes, scheming vampires, bra's, and...strip clubs?
1. The Bet

EPOV

"Edward! Edward! Edward, Edward, Edward!"

"God Alice can you please be quiet!"

All day she has been bugging me. She has been trying to make a bet with me, but I just have that Alice Cullen will make your life a living hell during this bet feeling. After all these years you just have to know not to bet against Alice. It all goes from eating human food (which is awfully grossness!) to walking around somewhere in a diaper asking everyone to marry you until someone actually says yes. Yeah I shall not go there. I shuddered at that memory.

"Please Edward! Please, please, pllleeeaaaasssseee!" she said begging. "Can't you just hear the bet? It's not going to kill you."

"Uh yes it would." I stated and leaving the room to go outside. And of course she followed. I was debating on either running into the forest or to my car.

"Come on Edward and don't even think about it I will find you. Just take one moment out of your somewhat confusing life to hear me out."

"No."

"If you don't want to take the bet I'll leave you alone for the rest of the day." she said with a smile.

"Mmm make that a week."

She smiled,"Yay! Alright you're not allowed to touch Bella for a week and I already seen that you want me to not shop for a week. Ok if you win I won't drag you shopping with me for a month," I nodded thinking this will totally be easy to win Alice will go crazy wanting to shop, "and if I win you have to go shopping with me and let me dress you in anything I want." She finished with a grin.

Damn that sounds soo easy, but in the back of my head it was screaming at me not to agree.

"Alright," I said, "I'll do it." I took her hand to seal our bet when I saw her grin that made me want to take it all back.

"Excellent."

BPOV

"Alice do I have to wear this?" I can't believe this.

"Yes and if you don't I swear I'll take you shopping for the rest of the month."

I shut up after that since it wasn't worth it. Trust me. Yeah I woke up this morning with Alice inches from my face saying to go eat real quickly and come back up. I did so and when I came back she completely undressed me (which was awkward in my favor) and put me in the most sluty cloths _ever,_ which brings us back to this fight well disapproval since I can't do shit about it. She put me in a low cut baby blue, sleeved shirt with tears on the sides, a black ruffled skirt, and oxford high heel pumps that are white and black. Ok maybe it's not that bad but it is for me.

"Come on Bella you only have to do this for a week." She stated.

"A week! Why do I have to do this for a week?"

"I made a bet with Edward and I _cannot _lose."

Alice had that hostile face which scared the hell out of me. So I had to agree. I think I gained 2 pounds because of the make-up she put on me. When we got to the school I really didn't want to get out, but Alice dragged me out carefully yet roughly into the school. It was dead silent when I walked in and it was the _longest _2 minutes of silence in my life.

"When I become a vampire I will get you back for this," I said angrily.

I spotted Edward, which had a lot of lust in his eyes, and was about to go run to him when Alice grabbed me and whispered, "Oh Edward isn't allowed to touch you today."

Well there goes this morning's hug, "One hug? Please Alice"

Considering it she nodded and said, "This hug will be the last one for a week."

I quickly ran to him and gave him a hug but it only lasted for 15 seconds because of Alice.

"Remember our deal," she said with a smirk.

EPOV

Oh god. I'm going to die. I'm going to kill Alice. All day I had to resist touching Bella and every time I thought Alice wasn't looking I tried to touch her but Alice would say in her head, "Are you really going to break on the first day?"

With that I told myself I can do this. Then that's when I heard it. Mike effin Newton and his damn thoughts. We are in biology one of the last classes of the day and Mike just had to think about Bella.

_Woah. I'd love to see her in that outfit. Maybe she will wear a skimpy cop outfit asking me if I've been a bad boy. Shit! I need to go to the bathroom but how can I go without anyone knowing? Oh yeah my jacket._

Mike raised his hand and asked, "Mr. Molina can I go to the bathroom?"

Mr. Molina nodded. Mike got up with the jacket in front of him. Just when he was walking by I pulled his jacket to the floor showing everyone his not so big erecting. His face turned bright red. I was one of the first ones to start laughing. Bella just looked back down towards her books giggling.

_Crap, crap, crap. Ok Bella isn't looking at you so just grab the jacket and walk slowly out of the room. _

Instead of grabbing the jacket he just ran out of the room. Mr. Molina calmed everyone before leaving to go find Mike to make sure he didn't leave school. Using my unique hearing I listened to their conversation while Mike covered his pants the whole time.

"Are you alright Mr. Newton?"

"Uhh…"

"I'll go call your parents to come pick you up. You can come back tomorrow to pick up your things unless you want to go back and get them—"

"No! Uh I mean I'll get them tomorrow."

"Edward?"

I looked over to my angel to see that she looked disappointed.

"Edward I know you did that." She stated.

If I could I would have blushed.


	2. The Surprises

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been so busy doing crap for my pregnant sister, my birthday mom, and my happy father's day dad soo enjoy the new chapter.**

**I DO NOT OWN! Stephanie Meyer does! WE ARE ALL JELIOUSE OF HER! Lol READ!**

EPOV

Please. Make. Her. Stop. I'm begging to god please have her shut up!

Before our bet she bought The Sims 3. Well mainly every 5 seconds she is squealing happily every time she virtually buys cloths and accessories for her Sims. I'm now wondering if that's cheating but then its not really shopping. Crap. Maybe later I can smash her computer or have Bella fall on it. Ok no that's a bad decision. Oh maybe wrestling with Emmett. Yeah that will work.

_Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. You better not or I will make the rest of your life a living hell for you! Oh my gawd! It's time to change my outfit._

Damn it but maybe it is worth it… oh well.

"Hey Emmett!"

"Yea?"

"Edward don't do it!"

"Do what Alice?" I said sweetly.

I walked out of my room into hers with Emmett trailing after me.

"Emmett if you value your life you would leave." She said glaring into her laptop.

"Do you really think I value it? I mean come on I'm a vampire. If I did I wouldn't have gone hunting for the bear." He replied clearly enjoying her mood.

"You would leave if I gave you this." She said holding up a case.

"What is it?" We said at the same time and looked at each other saying, "Ginks you owe me a soda."

Again without looking up she said, "Its Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail. I have my connections."

Emmett looked at me, the case, then Alice and decided to grab the case and left. I wouldn't blame him it's a funny movie.

Leaning against the door frame I started thinking about what I could do to get her back ignoring the fact that she is probably looking intensely into my future.

_Don't try to compete against a professional Eddie._ She thought smiling. I hissed.

"Come on Alice, you know I hate the name Eddie," I said with a disgusting look, "the name is soo childish."

Finally looking up at me and smiling she thought _But its fun to mess with you Eddie. Oh it's almost time for Bella to wake up for school. Tootles._

She climbed out of the window and after about 10 minutes I had this sudden idea. I grabbed her laptop from her bed and walked outside into the forest. Closing my eyes spinning around in a circle really fast so I won't know the direction and threw the laptop in the air using my vampire strength. After about 15 seconds I walked back inside the house feeling satisfied. I quickly changed into new cloths and ran out to my Volvo **(AN: Edward always has to have his soccer mom car :))**. I was debating on either going to Bella's house or just going straight to school and of course Bella won. I parked in her driveway to find that Charlie's car was still there.

Before I could get out of my car I heard Alice think _Edward don't come in yet. Charlie is sick so wait in the car till Bella gives him pills._

From my car I could hear Bella ask, "Dad are you sure I don't need to stay with you?"

"Mmnnoomm, mggoo to sppchool." Was her reply.

"Yeah, Alice I'm staying home so sorry can't be your "distraction"."

I can imagine Alice pouting at her before she hugged her. In a flash Alice was outside by my car.

"Do you want to stay and be tortured by not touching her or do u want to go to school and be tortured by some teachers stupidity?" she paused, "Ok have fun but remember I'll be watching." She pointed at her head, grabbed my keys, pulled me out of the car (someone so small yet so strong)

"Don't worry I won't hurt your non-animated object baby. So don't even start complaining to Bella." She rolled her eyes then drove off screeching the tires.

"Ugh!"

I climbed through the window and walked down stairs to find Bella eating staring off into the distance. Again I secretly wished that I could hear her thoughts.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Just my dream, it's pretty crazy." My beautiful angel replied.

"Like Michael Jackson crazy or Alice Cullen crazy?"

"Which one is worse?"

"Mmm I have no clue," I gave her my crooked smile which made her heart race like 50 miles an hour, "So are you going to tell me your dream?"

"You're going to think I'm on something if I tell you it…"

"Bella you're going to drive me crazy if you don't tell me. So please tell." I used my best puppy dog face on her.

"Ok but try not to laugh or put me in some kind of psycho ward.."

"I pinky swear I won't." We were about to grab pinkies when I had to pull away because of my bet. So I crossed my heart instead.

"Ok so Alice and I come across this castle and our curiosity got the better of us so we walked in and past some gargoyles. We go into this gold elevator and since we were bored we pushed all the buttons that go up to 215. When we got to 215 we heard this hiss which scared the heck out of us so we jumped into the elevator to floor 214, which had like 300 rooms, so we went into the first room where we found a magic mirror. We walked up to the mirror and got hit by a gong that gave us magical powers.

"Both of you have ever single power in the world," said the mirror,"You can do anything you want."

I had to use the restroom really bad and I was on my period, so Alice and I opened at least 20 doors before we found the bathroom which was made of gold.

When I sit on the toilet seat I heard something said, "Mmmm. Hoooooowwwwowoowowhmmmmm."

I asked, "What did you say Alice?"

"I didn't say anything!" she replied.

"Mmmmmllllllllooooolllll."

I stand up to find the toilet saying, "What are you doing on my face. Why did you put blood in my mouth?"

I replied, "I can't help it that's what girls do!"

The shower started to talk and Tommy the talking toilet (I decided to name him that) was being rude so we left. After we stopped walking I got hungry. We walked to the elevator and went to the first floor to find a kitchen. In the kitchen we found a 300 pound block of chocolate which we took half and used our magical powers to make it float behind us. Suddenly we had an urge to go on floor 107. In it was this coffin that had Vampire 101 Club written on it. Since Alice was already a vamp, I used my powers to look and smell like a vamp. We walked in to find you and Jasper talking, Esme and Carlisle in the corner, and Emmett on top of Rosalie making out. You and Jasper started flirting with us and somehow ended up having sex with y'all with the chocolate hanging over our heads. After that we ended up getting married in some Las Vegas looking cathedral which a minister that looks just like Elvis. The ring you gave me was half a dice with some diamonds on it and you had the other half, and Alice had half of a heart with diamonds on it and Jasper had the other piece of the heart. Alice and I complained about our rings so y'all went to the diamond store (STILL IN THE CASTLE! I SWEAR IT'S LIKE A WALMART!) to buy us rings with diamonds as big as a strawberry. You ended up biting me so I can be a real vampire.

"I want to get out of here and back to the real world," I had said and you then went through the wall. After that we moved to Forks and lived in a huge house with Rosaline, Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme it was then we decided to tell you and Jasper we had powers. For our demonstration we turned yours and Jaspers pants invisible (which was funny watching y'all trying to cover yourselves with a pillow).

"Wow now we have no reason to be afraid of the Volturi!" You had said. Then I woke up!" **(AN: Ok my cousin had this dream and I had to put it in since I was laughing **_**so **_**hard. But instead of it being Edward it was Robert Pattinson. Oh and it may not be as funny since its now on paper well computer screen :))**

I was speechless. I was trying so hard not to laugh.

_Don't laugh. You promised not to laugh. Please don't laugh._

Me and Bella locked eyes and busted out laughing.

"Ok if Alice could dream do you think it would be _that _wild?" she asked.

"If she could dream it would be about any kind of shopping like some mall on Mars and she buys 50 shinny suits. You know how she likes stuff that shines in the sunlight." I said flashing my crooked smile. "So do you want to stay or go somewhere?"

"Do you think Charlie will be ok?"

Thinking about how I hadn't heard him I started listening to his thoughts.

_Thank god Bella is gone I just don't think I could handle her taking care of me. I've been here by myself since she had gone with her mother and I've been as healthy as a horse till I had that stupid cobbler…._

"Well he thinks you're at school then he fell asleep. He may be knocked out for the rest of the day. So don't worry."

"Alright then let's go to the mall."

"You're willing to go shopping?" I asked alarmed.

"Of course not! I just want to go to see The Proposal. Alice would probably have my head if I had gone shopping."

With that sentence I had another way to torture Alice.

Trying to be inconspicuous I asked, "Bella can we at least buy a couple of shirts and pants?"

"Why?"

"Uh because I need some?" **(AN: lol say that sentence by itself. Sorry for interrupting again.)**

_Crap I should have said that with more confidence._

"Edward Cullen are you stooping to Alice's level?" She put her hands on her hips.

_Uh oh. Her hands are on her hips._

Stuttering I said, "N—nno. I'm just uh trying to… Alright I am, but it's not fair! She is torturing me by putting you in _those _clothes."

Sighing she said, "Uh fine I guess but don't abuse having control of me. I shall not try on any clothes and can we at least watch the movie first?"

"Yes love. Whatever you say."

_Ring, Ring!_

Still looking into Bella's eyes and making her blush I answered my phone.

"Hello?"

"_Edward, you better not take her to the mall!"_

"Well to bad Alice its total pay back. Plus Bella wants to go and I respect her wishes."

"_Ugh if you go into my favorite store I swear when you get back home I will—" _

I hung up.

_Whoops I lost signal._

One fast ride and movie later…

"Oh my gawd! My favorite part is when they run into each other while they were naked." Bella said laughing.

"That Mexican stripper creeped me out a little. I mean it was just plain gross! Ugh!"

She shivered, "Yeah I will kill Alice if she did something like that, but if she does please have her get a muscular good looking guy and not a chubby, creepy guy—" and she tripped.

Grabbing her shirt I pulled her up towards me placing her back on her feet.

"Bella you have to be more careful. If you break a leg or scratched yourself really bad I can't carry you to the hospital. I would have to wait for the not very fast humans to come get you."

Straitening her shirt she said, "I'm fine. Ok what store do you want to go to?"

"Mmm what's Alice's favorite store?"

"Victoria Secret." We said at the same time.

"Do you even want to go into that place? Not to be rude but it would make it seem like your gay and I'm only with you because I'm the person who gives you an opinion on what you look like in that bra." Bella said smiling at the last part then blushing. She's probably picturing me in a bra…

"Oh well, let them think that. But they may think we're finding stuff for you to wear when your performing." I said smiling my crooked grin.

Bella hit me, which might leave a bruise on her, at my comment. With that I laughed and examined her hand. We walked across the mall into a very pink Victoria Secret. To tell you the truth I have only been there once but only to save Bella from Alice. So I ignored all of the lingerie to save my beautiful angel.

"So do you just buy a couple of things and leave or…" Bella asked.

"Yeah so pick out something that's cute to you and I'll buy them. Yes, I will buy you them. NO complaining Bella."

"Fine, but," she said with a grin, "I want your opinion on them."

_Alright Bella will be in nothing but bras and underwear…why is god trying to kill me?_

"Hello, may I help you?" I looked over to see a black hair, pale skin sales lady. Her name tag said _Morgan _which seemed like it didn't suit her.

_Aww poo he has a girlfriend or wife. Oh no ring. Well at least there's a chance._

"No thank you." I said.

"Just call if you need any help." She said with a wink and turning around adding more swing than necessary to her hips.

_Creepy is all I have to say about Morgan._

"Okay… do you want to go grad some and I'll sit here or…?" I asked not really sure what to do in a girls lingerie store.

"Well I have to get sized first." She said going to a different sales lady, which happens to be gay so that was a plus for me but then I don't think I want her touching Bella.

"Alright sweetie just lift your arms and keep them like that till I say you can move them."

Bella did as she was told and the lesbian measured her.

"You're a 36 B." the lady told Bella and she blushed.

_Yum she's really pretty. Too bad she's straight as a pole._

"I'm going to look around and I won't even look at the prices since I know I will complain."

"Good. I'll just sit here." I said getting conferrable.

As she walked over to the bras I saw some guy come in with a fake blonde headed girl.

_At least I'm not the only guy here. _I thought to myself. Then I heard it. The scream that made me jump so high I felt like I almost hit the ceiling. I bet you can never guess who it came from.

**(AN: I was sooo tempted to leave it at a cliff hanger but I'm too nice for my own good)**

_Oh EM GEEE! That is THE cutest underwear EVER! _(The guy thought this)

Yeah the scream came from the mind of the guy.

_Don't freak out Edward. It's just some dude looking for underwear for his boyfriend Antonio. _I said to myself so I could calm down.

Bella come back (thank The Lord!) with a lot of see through under garments.

_Crap she has to try them on! I don't think I'll be able to handle myself._

"Bella do you really have to try on all of this?" I asked hopping she would get shy and just check them out. Of course she did the opposite.

"Don't worry I'm just trying on some of them." And she was gone behind the door.

In 2 minutes she was out wearing a sexy black demi push up bra.

"Wow." Was all that came out of my mouth. For the first time in 100 years I was speechless.

"So you like?" she asked with a smile on her face knowing the effect she had on me.

"Duh!"

She giggled and went back into the room. This happened for the next 15 minutes but with different bras. If there weren't anybody there I would have totally took her but I continued to be a gentleman.

"That's all of the bras. I have some underwear but I won't make you go through anymore torture." She said grabbing her items and heading towards the cashier.

To be honest I _really _wanted to see her in some of that underwear but oh well what else could I do? I spotted some flavored lip gloss and grabbed one that sounded good for her. Butterscotch was the flavor. I put it on top of her cloths and handed the cashier my Platinum credit card. I think we spent over $250 in there but oh well. We walked into Abercrombie and Fitch and spent over $500 on about 9 items which is ridiculous but worth seeing Alice's face.

Then we went into about 4 different stores and again spent a lot of money. By the time we were done it was 4:15 and Bella wanted something to eat. I got her a Thirsty that was banana and strawberry flavor that look so good that I would even try it and I also got her some McDonalds.

After Bella was done eating and wiping the red ketchup off from her face she said, "Come on Edward let's leave. I'm pretty tired after shopping all day."

"Yes my queen. Shall I carry you and your bags to the car?"

"You shall my king but what about your bet?"

With that my playful mood was dented a little but then I saw a grocery cart. "Whatever my queen wants she gets." I grab the cart, she got in it, I put the bags on top of her, and ran out (in human speed) of the mall. I put her bags into my Volvo and opened the door for her.

"Thank you my good sir." She said.

I got her home before 7 and headed back home. I parked my car in the garage and headed to my room. When I open my door and saw what layed before me I was immediately pissed and shocked.

**So do you think it has something to do with Alice?**

**Leave me some love so I can update faster :)**

**-Giselle:)**


	3. The aftermath

**Ok you guys y'all sent me A LOT of love sooo I'm rewarding you! Even if the love is coming from fav author and story instead of reviews but I still love it:) I'm trying as hard as I can on making this a LOOOONG and GOOOOOOD chapter soo read it, love it, and review it :) oh and vote on who shall win:D**

EPOV

Oh I'm going to kill Alice! I will rip her apart one by one and burn the pieces laughing into the night! And the day was almost over. Why oh why did I have to agree

I looked around my room ignoring the person standing. My windows were broken, my bed was gone, some of my CD's were gone, and my room smelt HORIBLE! And you can NEVER guess who was standing in my room. Alice you say? Just think worse than that. The person in my now destroyed room was no other than Jacob effin Black.

_HAHAHA. Like what I did to your room?_

**(AN: It seems like he's a robot when I type HAHAHA… sorry continue)**

I pitched the bridge to my nose.

Alright, inhale and exhale Edward. Bella wouldn't like it if you killed or hurt Jacob. What a pity…

I sighed.

"Aright Jacob I'm going to say this nicely. Why the hell are you in my room on OUR territory?"

"Well for your information bloodsucker. I was invited by Alice."

_She really wants to tick you off huh?_

I really, REALLY want to throw him out the window. That thought made me happy a little.

"ALICE!" I yelled.

She came in the room in a blink of an eye. Wearing a smile on her face she said, "You like my pet?"

"Excuse me?" I said confused.

"Well Jacob agreed to me my pet for the rest of the week in exchange to annoy the hell out of you." She said with a smile.

"Whatever. Now can you get this mutt out of my room so I can fix it up please?"

"Oh that's a negative. I know what you did to my laptop Eddie-poo." She gave me daggers, "I'm not so pleased of that so I'll leave that choice to Jakers." She smiled and pranced out of the room.

I turned to him and asked, "Can you get out or do I need to help you out?"

_Tsk, tsk, tsk. Eddie where are those manners? You have to ask nicely._

"That won't happen dog."

"Ok then I hope you enjoy me lying on this couch."

_Mmm Bella has been here. I always loved her sent._

That's it I can't take it anymore!

"Edward don't you dare!" Alice yelled.

Screw her! I don't want this damn dog stinking up my use to be perfect room! Hopefully Bella will understand.

I grabbed him by the waist of his pants since he doesn't ever wear a shirt. I ignored my cold skin touching his burning skin and used all of my strength and threw him out the window before he could even turn.

Turning I saw a fuming Alice that had this crazy glint in her I, but as fast as it came it was gone. Her eyes glazed over as a vision came over and being the mind reader I watched the vision with her.

"_Hey Charlie its Alice, I was wondering if I can steal Bella for a night. I know it's a school night but I figured since you felt better and having the boys gone of course she can come over." Alice asked with an evil glint in her eye._

"_Of course Alice! How came I say no? I'll tell Bella when I get home."_

"_No need Charlie I'll come over and get her."_

The vision ended.

"EEEEEPPPPPP!!!!" she squealed. I swear it was so high that if I was a human I wouldn't be able to hear it. "Sorry Edward but I'm so excited! Bella's coming over tomorrow, well really later tonight! OH! We can play Bella Barbie and maybe I'll let her dress me up! Oh I can't wait!" With that Alice skipped out of the room forgetting she was mad at me.

_That wasn't nice Edward._

Get Jacob came back.

Sigh.

I really don't want to deal with this.

"Jacob just go bother Rose." I said getting annoyed.

He finally climbed up to my window and said, "Mmm I could try my blonde joke on her."

"Have fun with that."

He walked out and yelled, "Hey Rose I want to ask you something."

I listened while I started cleaning the glass. Using my vampire speed and hearing to help.

"What do you want dog?" she asked annoyed as usual. I wonder if she was naturally vicious or if she was PMSing when she was turned. I never had the guts to ask…

"All I want to do is ask you some blonde jokes."

"Ugh if it'll get you out of my hair then fine."

"Alright what did the blonde say when she saw a sign in front of the YMCA? Look they spelled Macy's wrong!" Jake laughs at his joke.

"Har, har, har very funny." I imagined Rose roll her eyes then turned back to her mirror.

"Wait I have another one. An airline pilot was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the pilot showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new attendant was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said, 'I can't get out of the room!' 'You can't get out of your room?' the pilot asked, 'Why not?' She replied, 'There are only three doors here,' she sobbed, 'one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do not Disturb!'"

I actually liked that one a little.

"Are you done flea bag? I have other important things to do."

"Yeah pretty much, when I get to see you this aggravated then I'm done." I heard him walk out of the door and start to run.

In about 10 minutes I got my bed back, kind of cleared the room of the mutts' smell, the glass picked up, and straightened my CD's. I ran down stairs to ask my mom if she would help redecorate my room.

"Of course Edward but we must keep this from Alice. Remember what happened last time we bought something without her approval." Esme said.

I shuddered at what she said but I didn't have time to reminisce thank god.

"WHAT!" my pixie sister blocked the computer and started twitching, "You can't!"

"Uh Alice remember I'm the one that CAN shop. So can you please move so I can redecorate my now destroyed room thanks to you and Jacob?"

Esme gave Alice a disapproval look and started shaking her head.

Alice stood there determined not to move.

_It's not far! You got to shop yesterday with Bella!_

"You should have thought of that before you tried to get back at me."

She pouted still not moving.

"Alice if you don't move on the count of three I will move you and torture you."

She hissed at me daring me to move her.

"1…"

One step closer.

"2…"

Another step closer.

"3!"

I grabbed her and ran her up to her room. With her screaming, "Damn it Edward! Put me down before I rip of your ear!"

When I didn't do what she wanted me to do, she started to grab my ear and pull.

"That hurts! Emmett!"

I moved her to the chair and when I saw Emmett walk in I said, "Hold her down on the chair."

He nodded and embraced her in his arms. I was thinking of what to do. Give her mercy or get her back?

"Well Alice it seems that I can't decide on what to do. I can either do nothing, mess with some of your cloths, or we can play Alice Barbie." I said with a grin.

"Alice will kill us if we touched her cloths…and her face." Emmett said still holding a struggling Alice.

_Edward I know what your choice is and if you do it I will give a Mary Alice Cullen payback._

I smiled.

Its soo worth it.

I walked into her closet to look for a pretty, expensive dress. Ah I Sue Wong ivory feather dress. The price tag was still on it and it cost $528.

Wow. That much just for a dress?

I grabbed it and walked back to my siblings.

Alice gasps and then got a determined look on her face to get out of Emmett's grasp.

"Emmett what do you think we should do to this dress?" I asked sweetly.

"Mmm let's put a sharpie to it!" he boomed getting way too excited about it.

_Edward if you put that black marker on that expensive dress I will rip your head off and nail it to the wall!_

I grabbed the sharpie, thought of what I wanted to write, and wrote it down.

I held it up and Emmett started laughing clutching his sides.

On the dress it said, "Alice the annoying pixie is in love with werewolves!"

To add to that I found some scissors and started cutting up the dress around what I wrote so it wouldn't look appealing anymore.

Alice was sitting wide-eyed in Em's arms. When I finished she started cursing in her head and thinking of ways to kill me slowly.

I threw the dress and walked back into the closet. I decided we will do something to one of her shirts and I ended up finding a Tibi "Persephone" Sequined top. It was black with different colors on one of the sleeves and it tied the top half in the back. The tag had $325 on it.

I walked out and when Alice saw it she was giving me daggers and death glares at the same time with her eyes. Creepy…

"Hey Em put this on." I threw him the shirt and grabbed Alice from him.

He gave a questionable look but just shrugged and put it on.

As he did so you could hear the shirt stretch and rip.

By the time he had it on it looked like he was wearing some type of bra or some tube top.

Alice and I started laughing at him when he started posing. She somehow had her phone in her pocket and took a picture of Emmett with his leg up giving her a kissy face. When he saw her he immediately got pissed, ripped off the shirt (which got Alice's attention), and attacked her for her phone.

I let go not wanting to be in the middle of it and ran.

"Oh Eddie I'm not done with you!" she yelled after some slapping noise.

Shit! At least I'm faster than her! I ran out to the woods hearing her coming after me.

I thought to where I was going changing my decision so she wouldn't know where I was heading.

_It's no use running and changing your direction from me Edward. I will get you. _She laughed evilly in her head.

I swear we should get her checked out! NO ONES LAUGH IS THAT CREEPY!

________________________________________________________________________

**Did you like it? Please comment!**

**Remember about the poll!**

**Oh and it may take a while to update another one since I have to do my summer assignments:P**

**-Giselle**

**P.S. You should totally read this its called if you can see me now here's the link**

**.net/s/4760294/1/If_You_Could_See_Me_Now**

**P.S.S. or is it P.P.S.? Here's the link to Alice's shirt and dress**

**.?ID=432421&CategoryID=15579&PageID=15579*2*24*-1*-1*30#mainProductImage**

**.?ID=221056&CategoryID=14959**


	4. The Wrong Move

**APOV**

I'm in an _extremely_ good mood.

After I caught Edward I slapped, punched, and kicked him I almost pulled off his ear just like I told him I would but he ended up pinning me down and making a run for it.

I 'saw' that he will be going to the house. Probably to hide from Esme till we go to school.

What a baby…

Well at least I get to have Bella over. It will help keep me distracted from shopping. SHOPPING! For the past three days I've been 'seeing' different images for the coming up shopping trips. So far Edward isn't in any of them. That shall change! Hopefully…

I ignored that last thought and ran up to my closet. Thank god I bought tons of cloths before I made the bet. That's when after I got my clothes on I went to go find my new shoes. Good mood gone. WHERE ARE MY NEW $194.99 BADGLEY MISCHKA WOMEN'S TAI PUMP! I screamed.

I sniffed around to only find Edward's, Jasper's, and Emmett's sent in my closet.

Oooohhh! It's SOO on!

"JASPER, EMMETT, EDWARD! GET YOUR BLOOD SUCKING BUTS IN HERE!"

They groaned and started heading up to the room. Emmett and Edward pushed Jasper in front of them. They all had scared expressions. Jasper couldn't take how angry I was so he shoved Emmett in front. I started tapping my foot which made them jump.

"Alright I know one of y'all took it!" I said with venom spilling in my words.

"We—ll I don't know what you're talking about so I'm just going to go." Edward tried to leave but I blocked him.

"Ooohh no one is leaving till I find out who took it!" I started shaking. I could feel Jasper send calm to me but it just bounced off.

I got three chairs and made all of them sit. Alright how will I pick them out? None of them thought of confessing so that just made it harder. I walked around them to where they couldn't see me and got rope and tied them down. The rope wasn't special rope, it was just that if they broke out of it and ran I would track them down and beat the crap out of 'em. I laughed maniacally. It was the laugh that creeps out Edward so it was funny looking at his face. The boys started to get uneasy. I slapped all three of them because you know when in old movies police would hit who they were interrogating? Yeah that's why. **(AN: For some reason I see her in black and white on this part.)**

Using a New York assent I said, "I know you did it. One of you had to do it! Now if you tell me I won't hurt you as bad."

Being the smart ass Emmett said, "What the hell did we do? I think I shouldn't be here! I was with Rose the whole time besides that clothing thing but still!

I shoot my head and chuckled.

"You naïve boy, one of you took my new Badgley Mischka Women's Tai Pump!" At this point I was yelling.

Emmett just sunk back into his chair.

Again just like the movies, I turned off the lights and got out a lamp shinning it in their faces.

"Now Emmett," I said sweetly, "where were you when I left with Edward?"

"So can I leave?" Edward said pleadingly.

I rolled my eyes, put the lamp down, walked into my closet, and threw one of the now out of style stilettos at him. They ended up hitting him in the eye.

"Now you can leave." I said bored with him.

Relief filled him. He broke out of the rope and ran to his car. Holding him hostage ended up making him late for school. Well I'm not going and nether are these vampires. I glared at them and smiled evilly. If they were human they might wet themselves. I laughed.

**JPOV**

I tried not to panic but holding in my emotion wasn't always a good thing. And having Emmett's rolls of panic wasn't helping either.

I knew we would get caught but _NOO _I just wanted to see Em's face when I throw his car into where ever I wanted. I swear we need to get a therapist for our gambling problem…

I told Emmett that if he could walk down the stairs in Alice's now pair of shoes I would finally go with him to one of those stripper places and if he couldn't well I get to throw his car anywhere I want. The weird thing was he actually did it! He was walking as gracefully as he could down the stairs. All I have to say was those shoes were strong. To hold up an _**enormous **_vampire in those kind of shoes was just darn right amazin'. But I thought to soon because once he was on the ground the heels shattered.

"Shit!" we said at the same time. Thankfully Alice was out beating Edward and Esme wasn't here to shake her head at us for cursing.

"Let's throw it in the river!" Emmett said still having a panic look.

"Nah, they still look like shoes but without heels… Let's give it to a hobo!" I replied.

We ended up going to some dark, deserted ally. The smell was revolting and found some chick that looked like a hobo and said her name was Jessie so we gave her the damage shoes.

When we got home Edward passed by us to his room. Then a happy Alice passed.

_Crap. _I had thought. That's when I heard it, the most horrible scream ever.

"Jasper! Snap out of it!" I was brought back to an angry Alice.

"Uh yes sweetie?" I said trying to be cool.

Alice saw right through me. She smile and straddled me. Her lips centimeters apart.

"Jasper honey, where are my shoes? I promise I won't get mad." Her sent intoxicated me.

My mind wasn't clear so I spilled. About everything…about the bet….about the shoes….about the hobo named Jessie.

I was about to kiss her but she pulled back and slapped me. Shocked crossed my face. I felt Emmett's anger and how scared he was. I also felt Alice's pissed off mood.

"A—alice I promise I'll buy you new shoes! You can even pick them out!" I shrieked before she could rip a part off of me.

"Jasper I can't shop or I'll lose my bet! And you also have horrible sense of fashion! I pick out _your _clothes!" she yelled. "Now I have to get my $194.99 shoes from Jessie the hobo!"

Crap. Ok what can I do before she hurts me? Oh man there's only one thing that makes her happy. Sigh. Well it's worth it… either that or whatever she has planned for me and Em.

I broke out of the rope which wasn't really smart but necessary. I got down on one knee and started singing her favorite song.

_You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset_

_She's going off about something that you said_

_'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do_

_I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night_

_I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like_

_And she'll never know your story like I do_

_But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts_

_She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers_

_Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find_

_That what you're looking for has been here the whole time_

_If you could see that I'm the one who understands you_

_Been here all along, so why can't you see?_

_You, you belong with me, you belong with me_

_Walking the streets with you and your worn-out jeans_

_I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be_

_Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself_

_Hey, isn't this easy?_

_And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town_

_I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down_

_You say you're fine, I know you better than that_

_Hey, what ya doing with a girl like that?_

_She wears high heels, I wear sneakers_

_She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers_

_Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find_

_That what you're looking for has been here the whole time_

_If you could see that I'm the one who understands you_

_Been here all along, so why can't you see?_

_You belong with me_

_Standing by and waiting at your back door_

_All this time how could you not know?_

_Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me_

_Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night_

_I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry_

_And I know your favorite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams_

_Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me_

_Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?_

_Been here all along, so why can't you see?_

_You belong with me_

_Standing by and waiting at your back door_

_All this time, how could you not know?_

_Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me_

_You belong with me_

_Have you ever thought just maybe_

_You belong with me_

_You belong with me_

By the time I was done she was in my lap. All was forgiven. THANK GOD! She kissed my check then noticed Emmett still wrapped in rope. She glared at him then said, "Leave before I changed my mind."

Emmett bolted bringing the chair with him. It was quite funny sight. But still being Emmett he yelled, "REMEMBER I WON!"

"Stupid, sexual vampire." I muttered.

I kissed Alice again and her eyes glazed over. She jumped out of my lap.

"Geeze I almost forgot about Bella! Well school is almost over I guess I'll have to go get her clothes and her." She kissed me good-bye and was out before I could say anything.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Ok sorry guys I've been doing summer hw then my mom bought me this book called**

**The summoning and I couldn't put it down! I really want the Awakening!**

**Ok I'd like to say thanks to the people that left love!**

**Team Edward 4 Life, belliehillary, renessmay, lala3552, Music of the wind, JasperSAYSrelax128, Lol queen, katecullen Caloe, dewa, Emmet's sista Jasper's lova, animal 8, isabellamarieswan66, xcshortie, animal8, TEAMEJforeverloveTWILIGHT, fairyfloss101, twilight pixie, Fanatic4Fiction.**

**THANK YOU! I'm sending virtual hugs!!!**

**OH! Don't forget to vote! I would like to see who you would like to win. I already know who I want but I'm curious!!! **

**The song Jasper sings is You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift. I like that song. Not to crazy bout the person but still like it:)**

**Slumber Party is the next chapter;)**

**I DO NOT OWN Stephanie Meyer does:) I just own the bet**

**Peace, Luv, and Twilight!**


	5. Slumber Party Part 1: Blonde Jokes

**Hey my peeps:)! Did u have a good weekend? I did! I spent 4 days with my beloved nephew, sister, and brother-n-law. Yea my parents and other sister decided to go to Wichita Falls, TX without me…. Oh well:) Yea so sorry 4 takin 4ever! Plus I read this book called Evernight and couldnt put it down so y'all have 2 read it! I may split the slumber party but IDK! Your just gonna find out!**

**Do not own! Stephanie Meyer is the master mind behind twilight!:)**

**BPOV**

As I walked out of the building with Edward he got a pained expression.

"What's wrong?" I ask wanting to comfort him.

"Alice is what's wrong…" I looked at the parking lot to spot a yellow Porsche.

"Do we have time to run….hide?"

_Maybe if I get to my truck and get to my house before her she won't get me. No a locked door won't keep her out… HEY! WHERE'S MY TRUCK! They better have __**NOT **__given it to that hobo named Jessie __**AGAIN**__! I swear if that happens I will do something to that person but I don't know what!_

"BELLA!" _Crap she spotted me!_

"Ugh, yes Alice? And where is my truck!" I asked with an annoyed tone.

"I drove it home so you couldn't esc— I mean uh so you wouldn't have the trouble of taking it home." She said with one of those Grinch smiles.

_Ok I'm SOO riding with Edward._

"Alice I'm going to ride with Edward so he could take me home." I said wanting to get out of view of her smile.

Edward sighed before saying, "Alice convinced Charlie to let you stay the night at our house."

_No! I don't think I could take another one of those sleep-over's!_

Edward opened my door for me and I stumbled in then he got in the driver's seat.

_You know I never really got to drive Edward's car._

"Edward, how come I never get to drive your car?" I asked curiously.

"Uh because uh," he kept stumbling over the words not knowing the answer or not wanting to tell me, "because you never asked." He smiled triumphantly.

"Well now I'm asking and we haven't even left the parking lot yet so can I please drive?" I smirked seeing if he would say no and confessing the real reason.

After I asked Edward got nervous. Deep in thought on what to do.

"Uh ok," Edward said being uneasy. He then got out and opened my door. I got out with a smile and walked as carefully to the driver's side. I looked at Edward palm out for the keys. He slowly put his keys in my hand. I had to tug on them so he could let go.

"Edward let go." I said slowly.

Reluctantly he let go.

"Thank you." I said happily and giving him a smile.

All the way from the parking lot to his house, Edward was yelling out orders about my driving like I was a driver's Ed student.

"AH! Watch out from that pot hole!"….."Keep both hands on the wheel!"……….."Not so close to the car!"……"Don't run over that old lady crossing the street!"…………"Don't turn that sharp!"…………"Don't roll your eyes at me! Look at the road!"………"Don't throw that CD at me! Pay attention so the road!"…… "MMMMmmm, why did you shove this in my mouth?!"

I ended up shoving a water bottle in his mouth. If I was a vampire I totally would pull off his tongue and throw it out of the window. When I parked Edward got out and started inspecting his car.

"I'm so sorry baby I let someone else drive you!" He said to his car and started rubbing circles on the door.

"Wow. No comment…" I just shook my head and then I saw a flash. I turned around to see Emmett with his camera phone and then he was gone. I decided to leave Eddie with his car and headed to the house.

_I swear he loves that car more than me. I wonder what would happen if he had to choose between me or his Volvo…._

I stopped in my tracks when I saw the living room. There were pillows and blankets everywhere. When I mean everywhere I mean _**EVERYWHERE**_. There was also a yellow with white polka dots Victoria Secret Eyelet Cami pajama's on one of the pillows.

_Alice…_

"Bella just go change in the bathroom." Alice said literally popping out of nowhere.

I jumped then said, "Alice you really have to tell me how to do that."

"I shall never tell me secrets." She looked left then right and ran out the door.

_Ok_… I decided to be a good girl and change into the pajamas. When I walked out I was instantly pulled down to the floor so Alice could do my hair. Five minutes later Edward finally decides to join us from his little 'moment' and Alice got done with my hair which ended up being piggy tails. Geeze make me feel any younger?

Before Edward could sit down he got tackled by Jacob.

_Wait! Jacob? When did he get here?_

"Jacob!" I screamed and jumped on top of him earning a "Please get off of me" from Edward.

"Dog Pile on Edward!" Alice screamed. I ended up getting moved while Alice got on top of Jacob, then Jasper on Alice, then Emmett on top of Jasper. It was a pretty funny sight. But I felt bad for the people under Emmett.

"Why am I always on bottom?" Edward asked.

"You guys are so immature." Rose said from the staircase.

Emmett ended up falling bringing everyone down on pillows.

"At least we landed on something soft," Jacob said.

There was a mumble from under Jacob that sounded like, "Speak for yourself dog." Oh it was Jasper.

"Sorry," Jacob got up then notice Rosalie then said, "Hey Rosalie I got another blonde joke for you."

Rose just gave him the finger. Jake just ignored it and continued, "A red head tells her blonde sister: I slept with a Brazilian man. Then the blonde says: OMG! YOU SLUT! How many is a Brazilian?"

I just shook my head with a smirk on my face daring not to laugh with an angry Rose 10 feet from me. Jacob and Emmett weren't so successful, they were on the floor holding each other laughing their heads off.

"Hold on," Gasp, "I have," Gasp, "to more!" Jake said between breaths.

"Hurry up Fido I don't want to spend valuable time with you." Rose sneered at him then sat down on the white couch crossing her legs.

"Ok a blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, 'What's so funny?' She says, 'Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!'"

"Hear that one dog." Rose rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Bet you haven't hear this one," Jake said with a smile, "A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, 'Wanna hear a blonde joke?' In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?' The blind guy says, 'Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'"

Now I couldn't keep the laughter in. Everyone except Rosalie was laughing.

"Well you know what? Blonde jokes are so brunette." With that she left the room.

"Ok I just wanted to mess with blondie so bye!" Jake got up and headed towards the door. I got up hugged him and said bye.

"Bella come here it's time to play truth or dare!" Alice said with a smirk.

_Oh I got a bad feeling…._

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Sorry its short and left it at a cliffy! But I wanted to get it done tonight and its 11 and I'm tired:)**

**Thank you for all of the people that are reviewing! I really appreciate it!**

**Remember to vote! I'm going to close it soon! So vote for your favorite! Alice or Edward**

**WILL UPDATE either tomorrow or Wednesday if not y'all have permission to shot me in the foot! **


	6. Slumber Party Part 2: Truth or Dare

**Didn't I promise I would update VERY soon? YEPPERS! But I was a day late so shoot me in the foot! IT WASN'T MY FAULT! My mom kept kicking me off of the computer! But at least I finally got done with one part of my summer assignments so that's a plus:) well bone appetite? Is that how you spell it?**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

BPOV

I sat down between Alice and Edward. Rosalie decided to come down so now she is sitting next to Jasper and Emmett.

"Ok I'll go first." Alice said with a smile. Her eyes glazed over and she started laughing. "I choose Rosalie, Truth or Dare."

"With you, Alice, I'm choosing truth."

Alice pouted then asked, "Uh what is your favorite thing to lick?"

Rose glared daggers at Alice, who returned them, then said, "A deer."

Emmett's face fell and asked, "Are you sure? Cuz that's proven to be wrong for what we did last night."

Rosalie then smacked Emmett then said, "Stupid. Well let's see whose next? Ah Edward, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to go to Mike Newton's house and sneak into his room with a chain saw and hockey mask. I want revenge for him slapping my ass so there." Rose finished with a smile. I looked at Edward who was also smiling.

_Poor Mike, doesn't even see it coming._

We got the things for Edward in a bag and saw Em put something else but didn't feel like investigating. I jumped on Alice's back and we got to his house in 2 minutes. Conveniently there was a tree by his window. Edward got into character and climbed out of the tree and silently opened Mike's window. We all watched silently on the tree as Edward walked to Mike, who was listening to his iPod and laying down. Then swiftly he pulled Mike's earplugs and started the chainsaw. When Mike saw him he screamed like a little girl and coward to the corner of his room throwing game controllers at Edward. Edward just cut his bed in half and feathers were flying everywhere. Mike screamed louder and tried to run to the door but Edward stopped him and so did a paintball.

_A paintball? Where the hell did that come from?_

I turned to see Emmett holding a paintball gun shooting at Mike's man part. Mike fell to the ground groaning and Emmett was pelting paintball's at him.

"Don't ever touch my girlfriend!" he yelled. I laughed along with Alice, Rose, and Jasper. I almost fell out of the tree but Alice held onto my shirt.

"RUN!" Edward yelled. The next thing I knew I was on Alice and back heading towards his house.

We got home and was still laughing.

"Alright Emmett your turn, truth or dare?"

"Dare bro!"

"I dare you to poor chocolate on the drive way and lick it off."

"Eww gross!"

"Hey chocolate is yummy!" I protested. They just looked at me and started laughing at how I said it.

We all walked out of the house with the chocolate syrup and I poured it all over the driveway and poured some in my hand. Hey who couldn't resist chocolate?

"It looks like watered down human poop!" Emmett complained. He got down on all fours and licked the driveway at vampire speed. I have to admit it was funny looking seeing a vampire lick chocolate off the ground. He was done in 6 minutes.

"That stuff is horrid! How can you eat that Bella?"

"Like this." I got the bottle and let the chocolate drip into my mouth.

"EWW!"

"Em you sound like a little girl who hates brussel sprouts." I said with a grin.

"Alright Bella your next, Truth or Dare?"

"Uh truth." _I__** SOO**__ didn't want to choose dare. Who know what he had in his mind!_

Emmett pouted then asked, "Have you ever masturbated to a picture of someone in the room?"

_Of course perverted Emmett!_

"NOO!" I yelled horrified at that question.

"Sure." He said like he knew I had.

"Um Jasper, Truth or Dare."

"Dare."

_Wow apparently he thinks I can't give him a hard dare. I'll show him!_

I laughed evilly when I decided on one.

"I dare you to walk around Jessica Stanley's neighborhood in whitey tidies and black heals saying 'I'm in love with cows'." I finished with a smirk.

Everyone was looking at me wide eyed speechless wondering how I became an evil genius in five minutes.

Alice broke the silence saying, "I have some that you can wear. And don't ask."

Jasper left, changed, and came back in 30 seconds.

"Let's hurry up." He said.

"Bella how in the world did you come up with that?" My love asked.

"It just popped into my head." I winked and jumped onto Alice's back.

When we got there Rose started playing "Birthday Sex" by Jeremih. I didn't even realize she brought a boom box. Jasper reluctantly walked down the road slowly not used to the shoes and started yelling, "I'm in love with cows" over and over again.

We all look at Jessica's house and saw that she either heard the music or Jasper because she was already at the window. She was looking at Jasper star struck.

"Edward what is she thinking?" I asked.

"Some disturbing fantasies about how he's in her room and yeah don't make me say it. It's already bad enough at how I have a visual!" he replied.

About 5 minutes later we told him that he could put his cloths back on.

"Wait Jasper! Do you want to come over?" We heard Jessica yelling from her window. Alice was glaring daggers at her then we all walked out of her sight before running back to the house.

We waited for Jasper to get done so he could ask Alice a truth or dare question. He got done in about a minute and asked, "Alice truth or dare?"

"Truth." Alice said.

"Uh have you ever made out with Emmett?" he asked just picking a random question.

"Yes, now knows next?"

"Wait what?" We all yelled except Em who was in the corner looking **EXTREMLY **uncomfortable.

"Alice you said you would take that to your pile of ashes!" Emmett yelled panicking.

"What the fuck? When did that happen?" I asked horrified.

"Well it all started back when Rose and Jasper went out on a hunt and me and Emmet got bored. So I got this idea that we could go to this new bar. We ran upstairs to see if Edward wanted to come but he was say stuff like 'Need to finish this,' and 'Do you remember what happened last time you dragged me to a bar,' so me and Emmett left him. When we got to the bar we were laughing reminiscing how Edward had a drunk blonde in his lap trying to get inside his pants. Then some drunk dude that smelled like whiskey and beef was all 'hey is that your girlfriend?' 'No,' Emmett had said so the drunk guy tried to grab me to go dance with him which made both me and Emmett angry but I couldn't punch him because if I did then that would bring suspicion towards us. I mean come on! A pixy girl breaks some dude that's twice her size face. Who would believe _**that**_? So Emmett pulled me up to him and we started making out so the dude will leave us alone…" Alice finished not at all embarrassed at how she just admitted kissing Emmett.

"Whoa! Talk about sibling love." was all I could come up with.

_Who knew that they actually did something like that? Creepy…_

"Now I know why you both acted weird when you came home. Couldn't even look each other in the eye." Edward said laughing.

"Can we please get back to the game?" Emmett whined.

"Fine but we probably won't leave you two alone ever again. For all we know you to would have sex then say, 'a guy saw her naked and I didn't want him to touch her.'" Rose said shooting daggers at her true love.

Just then Alice's eyes glazed over and she started to laugh.

_Was I the only one that thinks it's annoying when she does that?_

"Ok I choose Emmett, truth or dare?"

"Uh let me think about that for a minute." Emmett said thinking hard a minute passed then he said, "I ain't a pussy so dare."

Alice did a smile that scared the hell out of us _**especially**_ Emmett since _he's___the one getting dared not us.

"I dare you let us to dress you like a girl, with a wig, painted nails, and cloths all of that, then you have to go to the store walk around asking people will you marry me? And you could stop when someone says yes."

"A WIG!?" Emmett said scared. For some reason Emmett thought wigs were some hairy thing from space that wants to eat his brain. We never knew why he thought that though….

"Yep and if you don't want that dare then we get to dress you up in a diaper with week old fish in it, a bib, a rattle, and then you go to the mall asking where your parents are."

_Wow Alice is an evil genius!_

"Emmett your better pick the girl thing because if you wear that diaper you'll smell like a fish and won't be allowed in our room." Rosalie snapped at him.

"I'll uh pick the girl thing…" Emmett said really not liking that he picked dare.

"Ok girls time to give Emmett a make-over! Boys you stay down here." She grabbed Emmett's hand and raised an eyebrow at the boys daring to object and ran upstairs with me and Rose closely behide.

Alice threw Emmett in a chair. His face was filled with horror.

"I'll do the make-up!" Alice squealed

"I'll pick out the clothes!" Rose said happy that she gets to do this to him.

"I'll only pick out a wig and do his nails." I put in.

_I'll do his nails RAINBOW!_

I painted them white, red, orange, yellow, green, tile, blue, indigo, violet, and black. I smiled at my work and just for payback I put a clear coat that makes the nail polish last longer. Alice was still doing his make-up when I asked, "Where are the wigs Alice or do you not have any?"

"Silly Bella of course of I have wigs they're in the closet. Me and Jasper use them to entertain each other." She replied with a wink.

_Now I __**really**__ don't want to touch them…._

I walked into her closet and saw signs saying where stuff was since her closet is _**THAT**_ big. I walked to where the sign that said 'wigs' and saw different wigs. The wigs were from short to long and from black to blonde. I saw this long blonde wig that reminded me of Rose so I picked it and walked back to them. I gasp at what I saw and couldn't help but laugh. Alice was done with his make-up and it actually made him look like a girl. He had blood red lipstick, different shades of pink eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, and blush. But the best part was what he was wearing. A pink feathered dress. **(A/N Yes I'm an evil genius! I actually found all this on google! People are crazy!) **He was wearing a strapless bra and the dress that covers the bust was just pink then the feathers came in. They started at the waist and ended at his knees and he was wearing stilettos. Wow the stilettos. They were pink with a hint of black, they tied at the ankle and had bands to hold your foot in, but the best part was the butterfly that was in the heel. I walked slowly toward him trying to hold in my laughter. I put the wig on him and he gave him a pain expression and a scowl.

_I'm SOO glad that's not me!_

I couldn't hold it anymore! I ended up laughing so hard I fell to the floor with Alice and Rosalie besides me.

"Let's just get this over with so I can get someone back." Emmett said passing us. He was walking uneasy down the stairs. I kinda feel sorry for the heels since its supporting all that weight…

Alice ended up helping me up from the ground and we all went down stairs hearing the boys laughing at Emmett. Em just growled and started to run to Thrifty. All the way there I watched from Alice's back at how he kept falling while he was running. I do kinda feel bad for him. Oh well!

When we got there we all hide by shopping carts and watched Emmett walk to the doors of the Thrifty. **(A/N for those of you that don't know what Thrifty is it's just a store that sells food and is expensive. Well down here in TX it is.) **Emmett attacked all of the people that either came in or out of the store asking them to please marry him. When he asked some old lady she ended up hitting him with her purse and walked away. Then when he asked a mother that had a little girl next to her the little girl screamed, "Stranger danger!" and kicked him where it hurts. I didn't know if he was acting or not but he fell to the ground holding his man parts. When he recovered he asked this old man the question then the man said, "Gertrude? Is that you? Of course I'll marry you! You were my high school sweet heart!" Then the old man hugged him and was about to kiss Emmett when he high tailed it into the forest. We all feel to the ground laughing our asses off. I was still trying to catch my breath when Alice picked me up and started running.

When we got back to the house Emmett threw his wig at Jasper and then threw his butterfly high heels at Edward cursing under his breath. He then walked into his room.

"BELLA, WHY WON'T THIS DAMN NAIL POLISH COME OFF?!" Emmett yelled.

_You could really hear the anger in his voice. I better lie._

"Uh I dunno!" I yelled.

_Wow even to my ear that wasn't very convincing._

I hid behide Alice when I heard him walking back down stairs. Alice is the only person that scares the living hell out of him. When I looked at him you could still see traces of eyeliner, mascara, lips stick, and still had the nail polish. I started laughing along with everyone. Come on! When would you see Emmett like that again?

"Rose, Truth or Dare."

"Dare." She said with a smirk.

"I dare you to not fix your make-up or hair and not look at a mirror for the rest of the game. Paybacks a bitch sweetie. Oh and Edward will be 'listening'." By now Rose was probably imagining how to end his life right now.

"Well then we better make this game fast. Bella, truth or dare."

"Might as well pick dare." Is said wanting to take it back. Who knows what she'll do to me.

"I dare you to get a pink spray can and spray "Will you marry me- Emmett" on the Jeep. Oh and Emmett honey pay back is a bitch." Rose finished with a smirk and blew a kiss his way. Em was just frozen, then angry flash in his face.

"Jasper and Edward hold him down." They obeyed trying to hold down a struggling Emmett.

"Bella you better do your dare or I'll have to pick another one."

With that I ran to the garage (NOT TRIPPING FOR ONCE! YAY) and looked for a pink spray can. When I found it someone tied something to my face and realized Alice put a gas mask on me. I sprayed what Rose told me to put and added butterflies. I then took off my mask and walked inside when my stomach rumbled so I went to the kitchen. On my way there I could hear Emmett dry sob over his car.

_What's with vampires and their cars?_

I ended up making a peanut and banana sandwich **(A/N Those things are tha BOMB!) **and walked back to the room.

"Guys I'm going to take a shower."

They all nodded and went back to watching Emmett trying to take off the paint with his shirt and spit.

_He's really crazy!_

I walked into Edwards's bathroom and turned the faucet on so the water could heat up. I jumped in letting my muscles loosen from the pouring water. When I got out and was about to grab a towel I met a surprise.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**OOOHHHHH! What's the surprise? Idk either! Or do I? lol I have an idea but I don't know if I want to put it down or not:)**

**REVIEW AND I'LL SEND A VIRTUAL EDWARD TO YOU FOR A FREE HUG!**

**Oh and don't forget to vote! I would like to see who you would like to win:)**

**-Giselle**


	7. Slumber Party Part 3: Poor Mike

**I'm sorry 4 those who review and didn't get a huge…. Edward doesn't like soliciting…. **

**Oh and I would like to kno ur opinion on why y'all hate Mike Newton. To me it seems like hes a child molester. *shudders***

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

EPOV

_I wonder if I should just give up. I really want to ki—_

"AAAHHHHH!" _Uh what was that?_

RPOV

_Can I look at myself yet? I mean—_

"AAAHHHHH!" _Did I leave my Chi on?_

EmPOV

_My baby my poor, poor baby! I'll get you clean rea—_

"AAAHHHHH!" _OMG! IT'S THE PINK FLUFFY'S COMING TO GET ME! ONLY CUZ I KNOW THEIR SECRET! EDWARD!!!! _**(A/N: Yeah Emmett was my first choice but my fingers typed otherwise.)**

APOV

_I'm wonder if Bella would let me dress her up even though she doesn't have a cho—_

"AAAHHHHH!" _Sounds like Bella….why didn't I see this coming?_

JPOV

10 minutes ago…

While everyone was distracted by Emmett trying to calm him I ran upstairs. Recently Edward stole my favorite shampoo and wouldn't give it back saying "My hair needs the condition too!" and then he would guard it.

_What he doesn't know that I'm in his room stealing it back! MUAHAHAHA!_

I looked under his bed, in his dresser, and under the couch. But I couldn't find it!

_Must be in the bathroom, if I could only make sure Bella doesn't see me._

I opened the door as quietly as I could and spotted my shampoo.

_Atlas! I found it! YAY!_

I silently rejoiced and grabbed it. That's when Bella decided to open the curtain.

_Holy mother fucking shit!_

There in front of me was a naked Isabella Swan. When she spotted me she let out a hair curling scream, "AAAHHHHH!"

_Fuck Edward is going to kill me! I better leave!_

But I couldn't move, I was just standing there staring at my soon-to-be-sister-n-law that is naked. She was staring back cheeks burning red, then realizing that she was naked and I was in shock, she grabbed the towel and covered herself. Then all of the siblings started filling in their feelings out of control when they saw us. Waves of shock, lust, and anger were flowing through everyone except the waves of lust and anger was coming from Edward.

Alice was the first one to break the silence by walking to Bella helping her out of the room. Still looking at where Bella was I stood up from my hunch form. Then one thought escaped threw (which surprised the hell out of me) and that was what made Edward pounce.

EPOV

When I heard the scream coming from my angel and Emmett's strange comment I ran upstairs followed by my family except Jasper.

_I wonder where Jasper is at._

I opened the bathroom door to see a shocking scene before me. I looked into Jasper's mind to hear _Bella naked, Isabella Swan was naked, Bella naked…._

_WTF did Jasper just see Bella naked?! _–Rosalie

_Sorry I didn't see this coming Edward… _-Alice

_Well at least it wasn't the pink fluffy. Oh and Edward, JASPER JUST SAW BELLA NAKED BEFORE YOU!!_ –Emmett

We all just stood there shocked; I was shooting anger and lust at Jasper. Anger, that Jasper saw my love naked. Lust, thinking about my love naked. Alice broke the silence first by walking to Bella and helping her out of the shower and walking with her to her room. Then Jasper stood up and had a thought that made me pounce.

_She has a nice body for a human._

BPOV

"AAAHHHHH!" I screamed the most horrible scream ever.

_Oh god, oh god, OH GOD! Jasper just saw me NAKED! Holy shit! I'm never going to live this down!!_

I could feel my cheeks heat up, I grabbed a towel trying not to make the damage any worse by just standing there. Jasper and I were just staring at each other. I didn't notice Edward and them until I felt Alice pull me to her and walk to her room. Still in shock I could feel her trying to put clothes in her hand. After I registered what she was doing I grabbed them and put them on. When I was done I could literally hear Edward punching Jasper.

"Alice, can you please get Edward to stop hitting Jasper?" I asked still embarrassed.

She ran out and I heard a "THUNK" and a "What the hell was that for" from Edward. Then he was at my side. He lift up his hand but he remembered that he couldn't touch me. With that he put on a frown.

"Don't kill Jasper," I said, "he didn't mean to walk in….well that I know of."

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO! I JUST WANTED MY SHAMPOO!" I heard him yell.

I giggled. Man it's going to me so awkward just being in the same room as him.

"Do any of you still want to play?" I asked knowing if I whisper they could hear me. I looked at the clock.

_Only 9:25 not that late yet._

"Sorry Bella but Rose, Edward, and I need to go hunting. We're going to leave Emmett and Jasper to watch you. Come on guys," said Alice. For the first time I realized that all three of their eyes were near to black.

Alice hugged me and Edward sure as hell wanted to kiss me but just waves and all 3 of them ran out.

"Well guys what do you want to do?" I asked avoiding looking at Jasper.

"Hmm I have an idea!" Emmett yelled.

_Yeah the last time he said that I ended up having gum in my hair and Jasper was in a crate going to Japan._

I looked at him like he was crazy then he said, "Let's scare the living out of Mike! I can where a Michael Myers mask, Jasper can where the Scream mask, and Bella could where the Friday the 13th mask!"

"I have to admit, this is the idea you have ever came up with." Jasper said also avoiding eye contact with me.

_Well at least I'm not the only one that is uncomfortable._

"Let's go to Walmart!" Emmett boomed.

"Didn't you get kicked out?" I asked.

"No that's Alice."

"Oh…"

We ended up driving the Jeep so that they could keep up the charade. When we got there looking for the right mask my phone vibrated. Alice.

**Y do I c u in a Friday the 13****th**** mask???**

But before I could reply I got another text earning a grandma staring at me. Oh it's Edward.

**Y is Alice cn u wearin a mask?**

I replied to both of them saying, **Emmett has an idea.**

_-vibrate- _**Don't u remember the last time **_**-Alice**_

_-vibrate- _**ur not gettin shipped anywhere right? –**_**Edward**_

I could literally feel the old lady boring holes on my head.

_-vibrate- _**Yes but Im not the 1 that's goin 2 get hurt;) **_**–Bella**_

_-vibrate- _**No Edward Im just at Walmart. **_**–Bella**_

I looked up at the lady and met her gaze and she looked away.

_The old lady is creeping me out!_

_-vibrate- _**And Bella y do I c u throwin a mask an old lady??? **_**–Alice**_

_-vibrate- _**This lady keeps lookin me and she effin scary!!!**_** –Bella**_

I looked at where the lady was at but she was gone, yet I still feel eyes watching me.

_Where's Emmett and Jasper?_

I looked to my side and saw nothing.

_-vibrate- _**FYI Emmett r bout 2 scare u n 3….2….1.. **_**–Alice**_

"BOO!" they both jumped out wearing their masks. They didn't scare me, they just startled me and I ended up backing up into the old lady that kept staring at me.

"We got your mask now let's leave!" Jasper said with a smirk while Emmett was laughing so loud that it could probably be heard in China.

They picked me up and checked out. I noticed that they each had 3 black cloaks.

"What are the cloaks for?"

"Jeez Bells we are going to wear them!" Em said no more like yelled.

"We should all have flashlights to shine in on our masked faces." I said.

"Already ahead of you." He pulled out a flashlight and shined it on my face.

I just rolled my eyes and jumped into the Jeep. We ended up parking down the street from his house so when we finished we could just run vampire speed back to the Jeep. We all got into costume looking pretty creepy.

_Well at least Emmett wasn't wearing one of those clown masks those things of SOO freaking scary_. **(A/N: is it bad to say that ever since I watched IT when I was little I always HATED clowns…)**

I jumped on Emmett's back since I wouldn't want to make Jasper uncomfortable and well that other reason. We climbed up the same tree like earlier and could see that the paint balls were still on the walls which made us all laugh silently. I saw that Mike had the lights off watching some cartoon and that he also had a baseball bat. Emmett silently opened the window, me still on his back, and crawled in followed by Jasper. He didn't hear us which is a surprise since I'm breathing hard out of excitement. Somehow we all fit under his bed but Emmett's big form took up the most space. He turned on his flashlight, signaled us to do the same, and started flashing it on the edges of the bed to make sure Mike sees it and we did the same.

"Eep!"

_Oh my god! Did he just squeal!?_

Then both Jasper and Emmett started moving the bed using their vampire strength.

"AAHHHH!" he screamed but low to where it sounded like a rasp. I tried to hold back a giggle. That's when Emmett turned off his light and started crawling out of his bed with me and Jasper following. With his vampire speed Jasper turned off his TV.

"MOM!" he whisper screamed.

I laughed an evil Alice laugh that for sure scares the crap out of him. By now we could hear him breathing and trying to swallow.

_I bet he already peed in his pants._

His room was now pitch black but Emmett was guiding me towards the bed. I felt his grip tighten then loosen again signaling to make sure the mask was in tacked and to turn on the flashlights. I was the first to turn on my light and looked directly at Mike; the Emmett turned his on, and then Jasper. That was all it took. Mike literally screamed bloody murder. I had to use all of my strength just to not roll down laughing. Mike tried to swing his bat at Jasper but he caught it and put light pressure on it to make the top of the bat turn to dust. Mike screamed bloody murder again. All of a sudden both Emmett and Jasper turned their lights making it pitch black again. Then I heard a tearing noise and a click. There laid Mike in just his care bear boxers.

_I could have gone my whole life without seeing that!_

I could see Emmett motion me to climb on his back to I did and we were out of the window before Mike's door opened. We were in the trees to where Mike's mother couldn't see us.

"Mike why is your light off? And why are you screaming like the boogey man got you?" his mother asked.

"Uhhuhh thhh—eerree…..was that Jason….. dude i—nn m—yy roo—mm. Sssoo wwaaas Mich—ael Myers…… and th—that scream…. dude! MOMMY!" he jumped in his mother's arms.

Emmett grabbed me and we (well they) ran back to the car. Once we got there we all started laughing. I then started gasping for air but still laughing. Then Jasper said, "I swear…laugh….he…laugh…peed himself!" That just earned a new round of laughter.

"Did you….gasp….see him….gasp…jump into his….gasp….mother's arms?" I had to spit the last one out before I started hyperventilating. Jasper had to drive us since all Emmett could do was keep laughing which made me keep laughing. Once my head hit the pillow I was out.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!**

**I'm going to be gone for 5 days for church camp and when I get back I'm going to South Dakota. Oh and there was one person that was close and that was pieface01! Whoa! Give yourself a pat:) oh and the prank on Emmett's car is originally from JasperSAYSrelax128. Read her stories they are the BOMB! Oh and the old lady and the TXTin thing happened to me except for the running into the old lady part. I was txting 3 of my friends and my fone was in the butt pocket and it kept vibrating 3 times and this old lady was just staring at me. I told one of my friends and they told me to stare back but I replied saying I CAN'T SHE MIGHT HIT ME W/ HER HUGE ASS PURSE! Lol ok…**

**REVIEW PLZ!**


	8. Again!

**Ok peoples of the world I'm now typing this in the car on the way to South Dakota. I totally had fun at church camp and I'm going to let you in an inside joke that happened to me at church camp. When you read it you're probably going to say wow she really is a crazy, imaginative person:) or may think that isn't funny but when it happened it WAS funny because me my cousin and a friend couldn't stop laughing. DON'T OWN TWILIGHT! But I might be plotting to be!**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

EPOV

When I looked at my phone, I realized that it has been a couple hours since I had left Bella with my two other brothers. I started running with Alice and Rose next to me. Once we got home both of them walked to their room. I walked into the living room to find my angel asleep on the pile of blankets and pillows. Remembering I _**still **_couldn't touch her I laid down making the blanket a barrier. Feeling the shift in her pilot she lifted her head and looked straight at me then the window then back at me, "Look a cat! There over there! See the cat?!" she said.

I looked at to where she was pointing at and only saw clothes. _Maybe mistaking that as a cat? Nah I don't think so._

"Bella, are you okay?"

"THERE'S A CAT!" She whispered yelled and put her head back on the pillow falling back asleep.

I couldn't help but chuckle. When she said that she looked so serious, so just to make sure she was feeling good I grabbed the remote and started poking her saying, "Bella, wake up sweetie. I want to make sure you didn't hit your head while you were with Mr. Moody and Lug head."

"I HEARED THAT!" both Emmett and Jasper yelled.

I kept poking and her asking her to wake up.

"That's a negative there captain." She mumbled and rolled to her other side.

_Captain? Wow… _I smiled _Captain Edward Cullen._

Again using the remote I started poking and shaking her.

"Really Edward? Really?" she yelled then threw a pillow at me, her face filled with anger that I have ever seen towards me. She fell down pulling the covers over her.

"Edward, can you get me some earplugs?" Alice yelled from upstairs.

_What the hell does she need earplugs for?_

Before I could reply Bella said, "I can't hear you!"

"What?" _Ok does she have headphones on or something? I'm SOO confused!_

"Edward, I need ear plugs!" Alice yelled again but more roughly. **(A/N: Alice had a vision about what Bella would do if she asked)**

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Bella screamed saying each word slowly. I lifted up the covers to see her eyes closed and eyebrows crunched together.

I was afraid of what would come out of her mouth if I tried to wake her up so for the rest of the night she slept peacefully not even sleep talking.

**BPOV**

_**Later that morning.**_

_Wow last night was the weirdest dream ever! I was with Alice and they bought the biggest three story house ever. When I mean big I mean __**BIG**__! It could fit all of Alice's clothes on one floor! Shocker! Well the house was hunted by Carlisle's Big Mama and I was the only one that saw the lady. I really don't know how I came up with her. She just kept tormenting Esme. And by her side was this cat that would sit on her head. I don't remember all of it since I'm guessing I woke up, the only time I woke up was screaming 'Cat there's a cat right there!' and nothing else. Oh well I'll find out later._

I sat up not wanting to talk to myself since I may need help and looked at my surroundings. I was in the Cullen living room sitting next to a smiling Edward. Then all of the memories came crashing into me and I started laughing.

"Are you awake because I don't see anything funny," The love of my life said.

"Just reminiscing and why wouldn't I be?"

"Do you remember anything from earlier this morning?" Concern filled his eyes.

"Uh only that I had the funkiest dream _**EVER**_!"

"So you don't remember anything about a cat?"

"Yeeaah."

"Anything else?" he asked.

"No, all I know is that I woke up a couple time but I can't remember what I did while I was awake only yelling something about a cat, so what happened when I was up?"

"You honestly don't remember anything else?" I shook my head. He sighed then said, "Well when you first woke up you started pointing at the window yelling 'Look a cat! There's a cat!' then fell back asleep so to make sure you were ok I started poking you with a remote to wake you up and started asking if you were okay. You then said 'That's a negative there captain.' Again you fell back asleep and I started poking you then I'm guessing half asleep Bella got pissed and was saying 'Really Edward really?' and you threw a pillow at me and hid under the covers. Alice then asked to bring her some earplugs and you starting yelling 'I can't hear you!' She asked again and said the same sentence but louder and slower pronouncing each syllable. Then you stayed asleep for the rest of the night." When he finished my cheeks were bright red.

_I mean when have I ever said 'that's a negative there captain'? Yeah never! I think Alice knew. Couldn't she save me the embarrassment?_

Apparently my face was amusing because Edward started laughing.

"What's so funny?" My embarrassment turned to anger.

"I was remembering the face you made when you said all of that. It was hilarious." Again my face turned bright red but I got over it and started laughing with him. "So what did you and my brothers do when I was hunting?"

I started laughing harder remembering Mike's face.

_God we have to do that again…_

"Can you please tell me? All Emmett just keeps laughing in his head about masks and he blocks the rest. So tell me!" He finished and started pouting. Who couldn't resist him when he starts to pout? Not me! So I told him, from the old lady to Mike running to his mommy. This brought us back to laughing. I then noticed that I needed to get ready for school or I'll be late. I ran up to Alice's room to look for clothes but ended up having to wear a white with blue strip skirt, black push-up bra, a grey shirt where the sleeves stop at my elbow, and (thankfully) flats that are blue.

Oh and don't forget Bella Barbie (sarcasm hinted)! 45 minutes later, Alice had curled my hair and pulled some of it back. My make-up was eyeliner, mascara, base, and blue and grey eye-shadow.

When she left to pick out Jasper's clothes I snuck out of her room. Relief filled me when I spotted Edward down stairs looking handsome as ever. That's when I thought of something.

_**Edward**__ couldn't touch __**me**__, but __**I**__ could touch __**Edward**__! Loop hole!_

Once I got downstairs I kissed him on the cheek. He started to panic so I said, "Edward, _**you **_can't touch _**me**_ but _**I**_ can touch _**you**_." I smiled. It took him a while for it to progress in his head and he relaxed.

"Good because if I lost I was _**SOO **_going to take you down with me."

"Aww you guys are no fun!" Alice yelled. Then Edward started laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"When Alice was picking Jasper's clothes she only find I shirt that wasn't used to match his jeans so now she's starting to freak out. She's literally pulling out her hair out of frustration." I smiled.

_Poor Alice maybe I could sneak some clothing to her, but then again Edward would notice and blame her for buying something new._

We drove to school in silence once we got there we both spotted Mike. He looked like crap. There were circles under his eyes from lack of sleep, he was wearing baggy clothes, his hair was messy from running his fingers threw it too much, and he had a different pair of shoe on each foot. When Tyler walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder Mike yelped and jumped up. I started to feel guilty about it but figured he will get over it….eventually.

Edward must have noticed because he started smiling.

"You know he keeps seeing those masks?"

_Oh maybe he won't…_

**EmPOV**

_Later that school day…_

_Muahahahaha! I'm totally going to love this plan. What is my plan you asked? It is to scare the hell out of Mike again except in the boy's locker room! And jasper shall help! Oh I can't wait till we go to the stripper bar!_

"Emmett why are you talking to yourself like someone is listening?" Edward asked.

_Crap I forgot about that…_

"Of course you did."

_Well do you want to help?_

"Sure. I would love to get back at him and it is Wednesday so I have nothing better to do except go to math." He said. By now people where staring at him probably thinking he was crazy.

By the time the bell rang I was out of my seat and heading to gym on my way I heard my phone vibrate. I looked at the number and it was unknown but I still answered it since I like to talk to people.

"Hello?"

"Hello?" the dude replied.

"Hello?"

"Hello?"

"Yes?!" I said getting impatient.

"Who is this?"

"I don't know! I mean I know but who is this?" _He's confusing me!_

"This is Adam. Who is this?"

"This is Emmett."

"Oh well is Cody there?"

"No there is no Cody here." I replied.

"Oh I guess I got the wrong number."

"Yep."

"Well I don't know you. Uh that I know of anyways."

"Ok…" he's starting to creep me out. And I'm a vampire!

"Well since I don't know you I guess I'll hang up."

"You do that."

"Bye."

"Bye." _Why that was weird… _**(A/N: this conversation just happened when I was typing this and I couldn't help but laugh during the whole conversation with the Adam dude.)**

I walked to gym and into the locker room. The only people in there were Mike, Eric, and Tyler.

"Dude what's with you? It's like you seen a ghost!" Tyler said.

"Maybe he finally realized that his life will go now where and all he will live in is a box and he will have to eat rats for the rest of his lonely life without Bella." Eric said.

Mike just sat there staring into space. While I was watching and listened to them intensely I felt a tap on my shoulder. I jumped hoping it wasn't pink fluffy and turning around to see Edward and Jasper standing there with their masks and robes. I then knowing it was time to start plan 'Scare Mike again just for our amusement' so I faked the coach's voice and said, "Eric! Tyler! Out on the court now!"

They left leaving poor, poor Mike to his doom. I put on my mask hiding my smile and that's when I started wishing I had a power to bring up fog. Then all of a sudden fog came up.

_OMG! Did I do that!?_

"No Emmett, Alice gave Jasper a fog machine knowing your plan." Edward said in vampire speed so Mike wouldn't hear.

I mumbled a "whatever" and stared at Mike. He just noticed that there was fog surrounding him and bolted towards the door but of course we locked it. That's when he started panicking and was about to bang on the door when I said, "MIIIKKKKEEE! MMIIIKKKEEE! You shall pay!"

Apparently my voice sounded as creepy as I meant it to be because he started pounding on the door. At that I almost didn't want to scare him but I'm a vampire and we're selfish so I jumped out with one of those fake knife, you know the one that when you stab a person the blade goes into the stem of the knife and it sticks to the person and can poor out fake blood. That brought the gasping and more banging on the door from Mike. I signaled Jasper and Edward to come out by tilting my head to the right but before that came out they turned off the fog machine. When they came into view Mike then screamed, God how he screamed. It was so high it would put a girl screaming into shame.

"Mike! Mike what's wrong? Open the door," said the Coach.

Well that's our time to leave! But before I did I bent down to where I was hovering over him breathing hard. Then I stabbed him. The fake blood poured out on him and Mike started panicking and then fainted at the image of the fake blood.

_Why did he faint? It's not even his blood!_

"Come on we have to leave! The coach just found the key to unlock the door!" Edward said in vampire speed. Before I left I pulled off his clothes to where you could see his Franklin tidy whities. I grabbed my knife and hid on top of the lockers with Edward and Jasper following my lead. By the time Jasper got on the coach opened the door to an unconscious Mike in his underwear. All of the people that took gym at this period (including Bella) were watching the scene before them.

"Yorkie, go get a bucket of water or some dirty socks to wake Newton." He ordered.

Eric ran off then came back with the dirtiest pair of socks I had ever smelled. They were worst that mine! He put them up to Mike's nose and Mike instantly gagged. Knowing now that Mike was ok the whole crowd of students started laughing at him. His face turned deep crimson.

"Mike I think I should take you to the nurse."

"It's not my fault! Jason, Michael Myers, and the scream guy popped out of nowhere! Then Michael stabbed me! I'm telling the truth!" Mike yelled. By now all of the students were on the floor laughing and the Coach was probably debating on whether or not to take him to the loony bin.

"Yeah you're definitely going to the nurse." The Coach grabbed his arm and pulled Mike, who was still only wearing underwear.

I ran out of there to my car in vampire speed before I could fall off the locker. Once I was at the car I started laughing. It's been 3 minutes before I realized that Jasper and Edward where by me laughing. I looked up to see a pissed off Bella.

**BPOV**

_Oh the boys are going to get it! They shouldn't have done that! Poor Mike…_

Even though I was angry I still couldn't help but giggle at how Mike was in Franklin tidy whities. Who wears those? I walked out of gym since there will be no class. _Thank God! _I saw the boys on the floor still wearing their robes. I stalked up to them. Emmett was the first to notice me and he stopped laughing and backed away. I could feel the anger rolling off of me and so did Jasper who hid behind the Jeep. Emmett got scared and pulled Edward in front of him and ran to his car. Then Edward finally notice and shut up.

"What the hell was that?!" I yelled, "Are you trying to scare him to death? You could have been caught!" People were starting to look at us but I didn't care.

"Come on, we can talk about it in the car." He was about to guide me but thought better and we both walked to his car. Once we were in I refused to look at him, so I tried the window.

"Bella, can up please look at me." I knew I shouldn't when he uses _**that**_ voice because when he does he usually had a pout on his face. But my body refused to listen to my brain and I turned my head anyways. When I saw his face I saw the most pitiful pout ever.

"Thank you. Now can you tell me why you are mad?" he asked.

"You shouldn't have done that. Now they are probably going to send him to one of those psycho places." I said. Really I don't know why I was mad. Maybe I'm PMSing. They should call it Mad Cow Disease.

"Well then I'll make sure they don't do that then." He gave me the full force of his crooked smile that always made me melt. Stupid, dazzling, Volvo owning vampire.

We finally got to my house. Yet when we got there, there was a yellow Porsche in the driveway. _Oh no why is Alice here?_

Edward saw my panic face and said, "Don't worry. She just wanted some girl time with you since we had to leave to hunt."

I nodded but on the inside I was screaming bloody murder. I really didn't want to be alone with her.

"Can you stay?" I asked.

"I don't think she'll let me in. Plus I have to find a place to hide since Emmett is going to drag Jasper to a striper bar and Jasper might convince Emmett to drag me along and there is NO WAY I will go."

"You should go," I said but once I said it Edward looked at me like I was crazy, "I think you should help your brother out. I mean can you imagine the feelings off lust from all of the men in a strip club?"

He considered it then just said, "I'll only go if he asks. I will _**not **_volunteer."

"That's good enough for me." I noticed that we were inches apart but before we could kiss I jumped out of the Volvo. I waved bye and walked into my house to see a very hyper Alice and a smiling Rosalie.

_Wait Rosalie smiling? What's going on?_

But before I could ask I was pulled into the house and up into my room.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lol did you like? I'm listening to Carmen calls. SHE IS HILARIOUS! You should type .com it is so funny! If you don't I'll send the monkeys and James after u! MUAHAHA! Oh and I luv that people like my prank on Mike:) I'm such an evil mastermind**

**Review and you'll make the children of the world happy:)**

**-Giselle**


	9. Alice's Plan Part 1: TOM

**I'm so bored! So I'm typing this right now while I'm watching Wild Hogs. Man I love those old men:) they r SOO funny. Ok this will be part one of two oh and ladies I want you to guess Bella's problem. Boys just try your best**

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**BPOV**

_Oh hell no! OH HELL NO!_

"Hell no! OH HELL NO! I will _**NOT **_going to dress up as a stripper! That is _**SOO**_ wrong!" I said.

Once I got pulled into my house, both Rosalie and Alice shoved me into the shower with a different smells of shampoo, conditioner, and soap. When I gave them a questionable look all they said is pick one and hurry up with your shower. I smelled the bottles and they all had cheap smelling scents (which smelled horrible!). Once I got out I put on my bath robe and walked into my room, and now they are trying to get me to dress like a stripper. Alice and Rose were already wearing their outfits. Alice was in a black pixy outfit with a dark red wig that some of its hair was pulled back. **(A/N: outfits on profile) **Rosalie was in a sexy pirate costume and was wearing a curly black wig. And for me they picked out a sexy nurse outfit that wouldn't make me look hot and feel VERY uncomfortable in.

"Come on Bella it would be _**SOO**_ fun! We won't even tell them! All I want to do is see their reaction for real! PLEASE! I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!" Alice said pouting and giving me the saddest puppy dog eyes ever.

"Uh they know our scent so there is no point in trying." I said hopping that would work.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," Rose said shaking her head, "We all just took showers with different smelling shampoos plus we'll be wearing some cheap perfume."

_Crap, uh what else is there?_

"Bella, nothing is going to go wrong." Alice said putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder and giving me more puppy dog eyes and pouts.

I gave in. "Fine but only to see the looks on their faces." _God, where did my stubbornness go?_

"YAY!" They both squealed and literally jumped me. One putting cheap make-up on my face and one spraying a butt load of perfume with smelled horrible for my human nose. When I looked at myself I looked like a whole different person. The girl had on heavy blush, bright red lipstick, a lot of eyeliner and mascara, and red and white eye shadow. She was also wearing a dirty blonde wig. Alice shoved me this clothes and ordered me to change. I put on the bra and realized it was a push-up that made my boobs look _**BIG**_! And the dress was just so hoe-ish. It cut barely below my butt and was tight around my body. Oh and the shoes! It was an inch and a half high from the ground and they were red. When I walked back in both girls had their mouths hanging opened and then smile brightly.

"Bella, you look _**hot**_!" Rose said emphasizing the word: hot.

"No, her name isn't Bella anymore. It's going to be Bianca." **(A/N: I always thought was such a sultry name.) **Alice said being serious.

"Ok then what's my name?" Rosalie asked.

"You'll be Veronica, and mine will be Lola because whatever Lola want, Lola gets."

"Alice how did you even get these clothes without shopping?" I asked curiously.

"I told Rose what to get and _she _bought it."

I smiled, "Of course, so when are we going to leave?"

"Oh just at 11:00."

"What! You made us get ready 5 hours early! What are we suppose to do in the mean time?"

"Have sisterly bonding of course!"

"Yeah lets have sisterly bonding in these hoe clothes." I said sarcastically.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," Alice said using the same line as Rose, "This was only an experiment. If you want you could take another shower and change your clothes, but after our bonding you'll have to take another one and put the clothes back on."

"Yeah I don't feel like taking a shower for the 3rd time today. Who does that? I guess I'll just stay in this." I walked to my bed and sat down followed my Rosalie and Alice. "So what do you want to do to take up the hours?"

"Uh how about a playing a board game, like Monopoly or Sorry or Trouble or Clue?" Rosalie asked.

"OOH! I know! How about scary stories." I said becoming as hyper as Alice before she goes shopping.

_Ok Bella never do that __**again**__!_

"Bella that's _**such **_a great idea, and after that we could play some board games." Alice said and hugged me. She then walked to the curtains and closed them making it kind of dark but not really.

"Ok ok I got one," I said **(A/N: ok my house was hunted when I was a really little girl like at the age of 5 and this is what happened to my sister. And the next story also happened)**, "I heard about from Angela. Ok well there was this girl named Courtney and her room was decorated in glassed faced dolls, clowns, and masquerade masks. She was a really light sleeper, always kept her door locked, and her bed was away from the dolls. Well one morning she woke up to two dolls by her head looking straight at her."

"You know even when I was little I always hated those kinds of dolls." Rose said shivering, "I have one. Well there was this girl that was sleeping in her room peacefully. Then all of a sudden she heard Mexican music blaring in her sister's room. Scared shitless she ran to her mom wanting her to investigate. Both of them looked around her sister's room and ended up finding a radio. Her mom tried to figure out how to turn it off but there were no batteries and no cord. The girl ended up taking it from her mom and chunking it into her neighbor's pool, but her mom made her get it and when she did the radio was still working."

"I hate it when things like that happen." Alice said shivering. "Ok I heard this on the internet, even though it may not be true it's still creepy. One morning, Sally and her parents went to a yard sale. Sally's parents had given her 3 dollars and said she could buy anything she could afford with the money she had been given. She walked around but found nothing she wanted, until she saw a doll. She had always loved dolls and had to have it. She picked up the doll and looked for a price tag. She looked all over the pretty doll with blonde hair and a red dress, but no where on it was a price tag. "Excuse me sir?" she said, "how much is this doll?" The man looked at the doll with a look of disgust and said, "It's free, you can have it. Just get it out of my face." "Gee! Thanks mister" she said skipping to where her parents were. In the car on the way home Sally decided to inspect the doll and noticed a string in the back. "I don't remember that being there." she thought. She pulled on the string and the doll started to repeat itself over and over. "2...2...2...2...2" "that's weird" she thought to herself. Even though the doll said the strangest things she still loved it. When she got home she put the doll on her shelf and by then it was time for her to go to bed. She had already forgotten all about the doll. When she woke up in the morning, the doll was laying right next to her, "I don't remember putting it there" she said to herself, "oh, my mom probably put it there" she thought. The same thing happened for three nights in a row. One afternoon, Sally hadn't woken up yet and her parents thought it was kind of strange. The walked up the stairs and saw a little red fluid seeping out from under the door. Sally's mom tried to open the door but it was locked. "Sally!? Sally?!" she screamed banging on the door. Just then the door flew open to reveal Sally laying on the floor in a pool of blood with her new doll laying right on top of her. The mother walked over to her daughter and collapsed to the floor and started to cry. The doll rolled off of Sally's body and landed right next to the mom's ear. The doll then started saying "3...3...3..." The doll is still out there somewhere. I'm not sure where or how many people it's killed by now. All I know is that I will never go near another doll again."

"Ok why are we talking about creepy ass dolls that's probably a descendent of Chucky!" I yelled hiding under the covers.

"Alright Bella we'll do something else." I heard Alice say and saw light coming through the cracks of the blanket. That's when I felt it. Something falling from my body.

_No it can't be! It's too early!_

I then ran out of the room.


	10. Alice's Plan Part 2: Getting Ready

**Alice POV**

I turned around and saw Bella dart to the bathroom. That's when I smelt it. Dead blood.

_Shit! Oh well it won't hurt my plan. We'll just have her slip a tampon._

I skipped to the bathroom and knocked.

"Alice we have a problem." Bella said in a tiny voice.

"Yeah I smelt it, I know. Just stick in a tampon and you'll be as good as new." I then noticed Rosalie pulling the sheets off the bed and taking them down to the laundry room.

"My lady part is not a sink that you can shove a dish towel in Alice!"

_Wow I wonder what it's like having a period. Probably felt like hell…_

I heard the toilet flush and came out Bella or should I say Bianca.

"Oh Bella are you ok?" Rose said coming back from the laundry room.

"Yeah bu—," She started but I cut in by yelling,

"Good because we couldn't do this without you!

She flinched at my excitement and put a calming hand on my shoulder. "Alice you need to stop that twitching and jumping up and down. I swear it looks just like how Jessica grinds."

With that I was on the floor laughing remembering prom at how Jessica was trying (key word trying) to grind on Mike. His face was gold.

_Oh how I wish we put hidden cameras around that gym. OMG! We should put hidden video cameras in the gym and in the strip club! __**That**__ would be videos that I would like to watch over and over again. Sigh._

"Bella, there is no way that I could be twitching _**THAT **_fast. Plus when I grind then get low I don't knee my partner in the groin." With that we all fell to the ground laughing at the memory of Jessica kneeing Mike.

When I stopped for air I didn't need, I jumped up grabbing Rose's hand and walked back into the bedroom. I quickly changed into a black sweater and black pants with black high heels. I smiled remembering why I got this outfit.

"Alice are you going gothic again?" Rosalie asked.

"No, now go change into different clothes. We are going into sneak into the Forks High gym."

"Why?"

"Because I want to put hidden video cameras in there." I said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Where are we going to get the cameras?"

"WE are going to go home first so I can grab the video cameras from my room." I said and then got a vision.

"_Bella? Bella where are you?"_

_Then Edward walked into Bella's room to find her in the closet dressed the stripper clothes and tied to a chair._

"_Wha—what are you wearing?"_

The vision ended.

_Shit! Edward was on his way here!_

"Rosalie help me with undressing Bella out of this and throwing her in the shower!"

She nodded and we pounced on Bella. I grabbed the wig and put it back in the suit case that it came in. Rosalie carried her into the bathroom and told her to undress while she turned on the water. Bella being the human was slow at undressing so I just took off her clothes without damaging them. I noticed that I was going to have to give her a different pair of underwear and skirt. Good thing I got another pair except the underwear is a red lacy thong… oh well!

By the time Bella was out of the shower Rose was dressed into different clothes and we left not wanting the make Edward suspicious by blocking out thoughts. I noticed the Volvo speed past as we were almost home. I checked his future to make sure he wasn't coming back.

_Nope, just going to go tell Bella that he will be force into going to the strip club. Purr-fect!_

I knew Jasper wouldn't be home since he left to go hunting earlier so I was clear. I climbed up to my room and walking into my closet. Since I already knew where they were I didn't need to use the signs. I grabbed 5 and put it into my bag.

_I hope Rose doesn't ask to why I have all of these video cameras because it would be an awkward conversation. _

Then I got an idea. I ran into Edward's room to grab what I needed and jumped out of the window and was joined by Rosalie. Once we got to the school she gave me a confused expression on to why I had the item.

"You'll see tomorrow Rose. Now come one and help me with these cameras." I said. Before walking to the gym I walked to the poll and tied the item I stole to the rope. I smiled as I saw the item moving in the wind.

_Edward is going to be so pissed._

We ended up braking into the gym and started placing the cameras in places making sure they weren't visible to human eyes. I looked at my phone and notice it took us 2 hours. We only had 3 more hours before we could put my plan into action! I needed to head back to Bella's house.

**BPOV (After Alice left)**

_I can't believe she left me here. What if he asks where they went? Just say 'Oh well they only left to get some cameras and when they get back I'll be forced into a stripper costume.' Sigh. I wonder what her vision was._

"Bella? Bella where are you?"

"In here Edward!" I yelled from my room.

"Oh hey….what's that smell?"

_Crap the perfume!_

"I dunno. Maybe it was Charlie." _Hopefully my lie worked!_

Edward raised one of his perfect eyebrows and then shook his head. _Phew! _

"SOO what's up? Aren't you supposed to be home?"

He gave me a crooked smile before saying, "Trying to get rid of me so easily?"

"No, I just figured Emmett and Jasper would drag you by your toes to that strip club."

He sighed and fell on the bed. I walked over to him and lay down next to him. While his eyes were closed I traced the outline of his face. At that moment I could tell Edward was content. I slowly moved toward him and pressed my lips to his. But before he could do anything I pulled back. He opened his eyes and started pouting. I just smiled and jumped off the bed and ran to my rocking chair.

"Bella, it's not nice to tease." Edward said still pouting.

"Hey, you can't kiss back so where's the fun?" I said using my new courage.

In a blink of an eye he was in front of me. His hands were resting on the arms of the chair, his head centimeters away, and he was unleashing his eyes on me. I blushed at his closeness and my heart pounding in my chest violently. He smiled satisfied that he turned the tables. _Stupid, dazzling, hot, vampire boyfriend._

_Ring!  
Ring!_

"Yes Emmett." He said pulling away.

"Em, it doesn't open for hours from now."

"Ok fine, but you owe me." With that he hung up the phone and ran his hand threw his hair.

"Have to go?" I said breathlessly. _How can he do that without touching me?_

He chuckled and said, "Yeah and if I don't then he's going to take you with us which wouldn't be a good thing. It's bad enough that I have to go and get traumatized for life. I don't want my angel getting anywhere near those lusty women." He shivered at the thought. _If only he knew…_

I tilted my head and gave him a peck on the lips. _He's not getting off that easily._

He sighed and said, "Bye love."

After I watch him leave, I headed toward the bathroom. _Might as well take another shower because knowing Alice she might shove me in there without a second thought. Sigh. 3 more hours left._

I took my shower using the nasty shampoo, sat on my bed, and opened my _Withering Heights._ When I was about to turn to the next chapter I felt some cold, hard thing tackle me. I looked up to see a very, very, VERYhyper Alice.

"Alice really?" I said with all of the wind knocked out of me.

"Sorry, I just ate a squirrel."

"Of course. Why am I not surprised?"

"I don't know but you need to go sit on that stool so I could do your make-up and your wig." Alice ordered.

"Where's Rosalie?"

"Oh she's just changing into her clothes."

"Oh," then Rose came in, "hey Rose."

She was already in her clothes and she was holding my nurse clothes. After Alice finished putting on a pound of cheap make-up and wig (that stays on pretty good) I walked to Rosalie and put on my clothes. I looked at my underwear that Alice picked and scoffed at them.

"Alice do I really have to wear this?" I said holding the red lacy thong.

"Yes and you also have to wear the red push-up bra." I frowned. I opened my mouth to say something but Alice interrupted by saying, "Don't make me come in there and put those on you!"

With that I put them both on along with my outfit. I also changed my you know tampon. When I stepped out of the bathroom I felt like my boobs were going to fall out of my bra. _Great… (Sarcasm hinted)._

Then Alice literally attacked me with perfume.

"Cough! Alice! Cough! Stop!" I yelled while coughing.

After like 10 minutes she finally stopped. Then something hit me.

"Uh Rose, Alice, how am I suppose to know how to poll dance?" I asked worriedly.

"Oh yeah I forgot that you were inexperienced!" Rosalie said.

"I have an idea. Come on Bella." Alice grabbed my hand and we walked outside all the way down the street to the stop sign. "Ok since we don't have a pole in your room we'll just going to have to use the STOP sign."

"Uh I'm good." I said about to walk away.

"Bella you have to do this! Do you want to look like a fool on stage?" Alice said desperately.

I thought about it and groaned. _Why me? _I walked to the sign and waited for instructions.

They both smiled knowing my weakness. Then Rose motion to the pole and said, "Alright show us what you got."

I blushed furiously and looked at the pole then I looked around to make sure no one was coming. I jumped onto the pole and started twirling. I used my upper body strength and leaned back to where my legs where in the air and my head flung back. Again I twirled around the pole and went down and back up. I stopped not wanting to go any further and looked at the girls. Both of them had their mouths hanging opened shocked. My face was as bright as a tomato.

"Well?" I said breaking the silence.

"OH MY GAWD BELLA! You're a damn natural!" Rosalie said clapping. Alice nodded in agreement.

"So I'm guessing I did ok. Is there anything else I need to know how to do?"

"Do you know how to lap dance?"

"Why?"

"Because we are going to have you give Edward a lap dance."

"Wouldn't he notice me?" I asked fidgeting and blushing madly.

"Psh not with that wig, make-up, and the blue color contacts on. Oh I forgot about those! They are in my purse." Alice said.

"Alice, you and Rosalie are evil geniuses." I was shaking my head and looking at them when I saw Alice's eyes glaze over. She blinked and then said, "They are about to leave in 15 minutes since it takes an hour and a half to get there."

"Alright let's go put the finishing touches to our outfits and leave."

I walked back to the house and into my room. Alice let me choose if I wanted blue or green eyes. I chose the green, Alice had bright blue and Rosalie too had blue. We took Rose's BMW and planned to park a further distance from the boys. During the whole car trip we were singing random songs from **What You Waiting For **by Gwen Stefani to **I Gotta Feeling **by Black Eyed Peas. _This is going to be an interesting night._

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Alright is it wrong enjoying how some of you were confused?? Well if you don't know TOM means Time Of Month:) when Bella had that feeling it was blood pouring. Yea I'm not going into detail cuz I might gross people out:))) the first person who got it right was TEAMEJforeverloveTWILIGHT! I shall give u a winking Edward!! ;F lol NO ONE ELSE SHALL HAVE IT! Next chapter shall be the strip club.**


	11. The Talk

**EPOV**

While I was heading home I was thinking about Bella and what she was going to do tonight while I'm with my brothers. I wanted to go back there and take her away from my sisters so we both won't have to face my siblings. When I got out of the car I noticed that there wasn't sound coming from the house. _Emmett is up to something. He's not ever this quiet. _So I walked to door hesitantly. Once I stepped inside the house I was immediately attacked my Emmett. I may be a vampire but I swear he just gave me a bruise. I groaned. "What the hell was that for?" I said searching his thoughts but only coming up with

Emmett: _I kissed a girl and I liked it, The taste of her cherry chapstick, I kissed a girl just to try it I hope my boyfriend don't mind it, It felt so wrong It felt so right, Don't mean I'm in love tonight, I kissed a girl and I liked it I liked it_

"Oh nothing really _Eddie_," I growled at the nickname, "'just so you won't be able to escape! MUAHAHAHAHA!"

I was lifted onto a chair and chained to it. _Was he really that stupid? I can just snap out of here._

"I wouldn't do that if I were you _**Andy**_ because we could do this the easy way or the hard way."

"Why are you calling me Andy?"

"Because that's the main characters name on The 40 Year Old Virgin." I glared at him but that only caused him to smile and laugh his booming laughter.

"Bye Emmett." But before I could break my way out of the chain I suddenly felt guilty enough to stay in the chair. _Jasper…._

I turned to my left to see an apologetic Jasper.

Jasper:_Sorry dude he has dirt on me plus I just want to take my punishment walkin'._

I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back on Emmett. I peered into his head again but only to hear

Emmett: _If I was a rich girl na, na, na na, na na na, na na na, na na na, na na See, I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl No man could test me, impress me, my cash flow would never ever end Cause I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl_

_Damn him with the thought blocking. Yet I can't help but wonder why those songs. _

"Fine I will cooperate. Now what do you want that _**soo**_ important that it will take me away from my Bella?"

"Well since you have never been to a strip club I just want to give you '_the talk_'." _Oh shizz._

"OK yeah that will be a negative there so I'm just going to leave." I just up and realized that the chair was super glued to my butt.

"What the!" I said and looked at Emmett who was laughing so hard he fell on the ground.

Emmett: _Oh my gawd! You should have saw your face! PRICELESS!_

"I swear we need to get you and Alice checked up or go into therapy! Jasper do they have a vampire therapists?" I asked. _He should know he gets out fake birth certificates!_ Jasper just shook his head. _Damn._

"Wooh! Alright now back to business. Now Eddie-cenz," I growled, "just sit back and relax while I tell you about how you should act and what to do in a strip club." Emmett said while pulling out diagrams and one of those CPR dummies (_well I think that's what it is)_ dressed in a bra and thong.

"Now once we enter the club we have to clam the best table in the house NO MATTER WHAT," he had a map of the club pointing at the closest table to the stage, "If we have to throw a couple guys across the room then we shall! OH! And just to act human one of us will order drinks. Jasper no Sex on the Beach, Margarita, Martini, Daiquiris, or in other words girly drinks we don't need people to think your gay. I had enough of those gay guys like that Victor gu—," Jasper cut off.

"Hey for your information he was bi so yeah." He defended weakly.

"Sure but what about that guy uh what's his name uh oh Elliot! Yeah remember how he pinched your butt? So no girly drinks only beer." Jasper just crossed his arms and thought _Girly drinks are good for the soul and body and gay people are cool_

"Why were there gay guys at a strip club if the strippers are girls?"

Emmett frowns and made a face, "Well while you were at med school and our wives were out, me and Jazz went to this strip club. Yet we didn't know at the time that it was for gay people… so all around us were guys kissing guys and girls kissing girls. And being the only strip club around I stayed and watched the girls while Jazz had his fruity drinks. Why he drink them and didn't just poor them in a plant is beyond me." _Wow the last sentence actually makes him sound like a grown up. _"After we get the beer we all sit and enjoy the show. Who knows Edward here may get a lap dance! Let's hope Bella won't find out." _Scratch that last thought_, "Oh and I hope you bring money 'cause we have to give them tips. Now," he said bringing the dummy to him side and started pointing, "when the stripped slash hooker comes up to you, you can put your money here, here, here, here, here—"

"There's no way in hell will I put money in a woman's butt crack or above her womanly part!" I yelled horrified when he was pointing at the areas.

"Well too bad! Either that of put it in her thong or her bra."

"I don't get how Rosalie can deal with you." I started shaking my head.

"Because we both love to watch The Secret Life of An American Teenager! Gosh I thought you would know that by now since being the freak you are!" he cried throwing the dummy on me smiling.

Emmett: _Ha he's getting more action from the dummy than from Bella._

I glared at him. "Har, har, har you're such a comedian."

"See Jasper even Edward thinks I'm funny."

"Em one word for you: Sarcasm." Jasper said shaking his head.

"Ohh…," Emmett said while picking up the dummy, "Well since we got to talk to you 'bout this, me and Jazz are going to catch a couple of deer or something real quick." He threw the dummy at me smiling. "Have fun with Becky."

Emmett: _Oh I left you a present Andy!_

And with that they left. I was afraid of what he left so I just desided I'll look when I had enough courage. Until then I decided to burn the doll. After I did my task I looked at my watched and saw that I only have 2 hours and 30 minutes till we have to leave. _This is going to be a long night._

I decided to go watch TV to pass time since I couldn't go to Bella's or Alice will throw me to Lauren. _Shiver._ 800 channels later I ended up leaving it on FX which was playing Monster-In-Law and ironicly The 40 Year Old Virgin was on. During the whole movie I was thinking _Damn this black lady is hilarious! _And _Wow she's crazy! _When the movie ended I only had 50 minutes left till we have to leave yet neither of my brother's weren't home. _Hopefully they left without me. _I decided to go up to Emmett's room to see what he gave me. I cautiously opened the door. _I mean really, what could be in here? 'Cause last time he left a box for me containing a viberator and a Playboy magazine._ I walked in to find leather pants on the bed with a note.

_**Dear Eddie, **_

_**Hope you enjoy your pants. By the time you read this Jazz and I probably got back from hunting and are wearing our pants. Now I order you to put them on! If you don't I'll tell Bella about the time when we went hunting and Jasper sent you a lot of lust for payback for burning 4 of his Civil War books and when you attacked the deer you ended up kissing the poor thing. Now do you want her to know? That's what I thought so….**_

_**Love your bear like brother **_

I ripped the letter and threw it at the wall. _If he loved me he wouldn't make me wear this. _I reluctantly put the pants on and felt uncomfortable instantly. I ran to my room to find a shirt to wear and saw a red dress shirt on my bed with another note.

_**Dear Edward,**_

_**You can either wear this or that hideous shirt that you had in mind. Well to bad! Your wearing this. Stop rolling your eyes. I already gave that shirt to a stray dog. I doubt you'll find it and no I didn't buy it. Rose did. Now put it on and in about 30 seconds Emmett will brake down your door so you better hurry.**_

_**With love and having with Bella,**_

_**Alice**_

I did what she said with 3 seconds to spare. Right when I was about to open the door Emmett kick the door sending it and me towards the wall.

"Edward! Oh Eddie-cenz! Where are you?" Emmett yelled.

I threw the door at him and said, "Let's get this night over with." I looked at him and saw he was wearing blood red leather jeans with a black dress shirt.

"I see you're wearing my present. Maybe you should wear that to school."

"Shut up." I said and walked out to my Volvo to see Jasper wearing tan lether pants with green dress shirt. "Does he have dirt on you too?" I raised my eyebrow

"No, Alice insisted on my wearing this or else." He shivered. Everyone knows that you do what Alice tells you what to do. If not she'll rip you apart and separate the pieces in the Great Lakes. She did that to Emmett until Rose, Esme, and Carlisle made her get him after a week. That was the quietest week ever.

I walked to the driver's side of my car but was stopped by one of Emmett's hands.

Emmett: _We are taking my car since you don't know where to go._

I sighed and walked to the passenger's side of the car while Jasper sat in the back seat. To whole ride we listened to Emmett's rap station. **Run This Town **by Jay-Z can on and that's when I got this feeling. It felt like I was missing some very important piece of information and it had something to do with Alice. I was knock out of my thoughts by Emmett saying, "Fellows welcome to Diamond Club Cabaret!" **(A/N: Not a real club in Washington just something random.) **

I looked at the building in front of me in disgust. _How can people go here? _The building was white with "Diamond Club Cabaret" in neon and there were plants and men surrounding it. I listened to their thoughts and was disgusted immediately.

Random dude 1: _I hope I get some pussy right away since I'm not getting any from my wife or girlfriend…._

Random dude 2: _Maybe I can bring one of these strippers home with me. I'll probably have to get them drunk…._

Random dude 3: _Please let my fake ID work, Please let my fake ID work I really want to see naked women…._

Random dude 4: _I wonder what my dog is doing. It better not me humping the cat again…._

Sigh. _I'll just have to try to tune all of these pervs out. _After we parked me and Jasper slowly (even for a human) to the building while Emmett jogs but he stopped when he notice our walking pace and decided to push us faster towards the door. We walked or pushed to the front of the line ignoring all of the shout and glares to the bouncer. **(A/N: Idk just making it up as I go) **The guy was in his 30's and was as big as Emmett. We got out our ID's and bribe money and gave them to him. He gladly took them and let us in.

"Guys, I can already tell its going to be one hell of a night." Emmett said while shoving us threw the doors.

**Sorry if the story wasn't funny:/ just been sad recently 4 no reason. And sorry for not updating I'm**

**just trying to think of things to put in my character bag and every time I get on the computer someone**

**always kicks me off. It sucks so send me reviews cuz those are like little boxes of happiness to me:)**

**-Giselle**


	12. Pointless i guess Author's Note

Hey guys its just an author's note.

I just want to tell you IM SORRY! I have a writer's block kind of and I literally have no time:(

So far the next chapter is only 5 pages on word but I want to write the whole strip club scene in one chapter.

Really I just want to let you know I haven't given up! I promise if I don't finish y'all can personally have the Volturi come get me (but I will be very sad).

When I finish this author's note will be gone! LIKE MAGIC!

So please STAY WITH ME! At least I asked nicely:))

-Giselle


	13. Strip Club

**Dear Santa, For Christmas can I own twilight:)) and I'll give you some cookies!**

**Dear Giselle, No**

**Dear Santa, What about Edward? I'll give you my uh shoe!**

**Dear Giselle, NO!**

**Dear Santa, Fine no cookies or shoe for you!**

**I don't own twilight:/ **

**BPOV**

Once we parked the car on the other side of the building, Alice jumped out of the car and pranced to the trunk grabbing three trench coats. That's when I realized that I was in a stripper outfit and it wouldn't be good to walk to the building dressed like this. I grabbed the coat greedily but before I could put it on I notice that the car next to us had opened their door. Stepping out of the car was an old man with a cane. He looked at me and smiled a toothless grin. _EWW!_ I was still frozen unable to move. I had no idea what Alice and Rose were doing but when I was about to put my coat on I saw the man looking me up and down. It sent a shiver up and down my spine but not in a good way. With him doing that I wanted to barf. I hurriedly put on the coat and turned around. I wasn't even taking a step when I felt something smack my butt. Turning around I see the man smiling his crooked, toothless grin. _Omg_ _that guy just smack my butt with his cane! Eewww!_

I looked at him like he had two heads. Alice and Rosalie were laughing their asses off. _Ugh Alice will pay one way or another._

"Good. We need more girls with firm rear ends." Still smiling toothlessly he walked away. What the hell is wrong with old people these days? I shivered and rubber my butt. _I'll wash but never be clean_.

As I put on my coat, so that scene wouldn't happen again, I saw both Alice and Rosalie using the car as support while they laugh.

I grunted and walked away from them heading away from the strip club.

"Wait! Bella! We're sorry but you should have seen the look on your face!"

"Oh yeah the look on my face makes it all better." I replied heavy with sarcasm, "Well you should have saved me from the old geezer and not fall down on your butt laughing." I yelled and started glaring at her.

She rolled her eyes and walked up to me and grabbed my hand. "I'm sorry I didn't save you from that creep. Now do you want to know how to take you that anger?" I nodded my head, "By humiliating Edward!" she started jumping up and down unleashing her puppy dog look.

_Damn. She knows how to break me like a horse._

Sighing I said, "Fine but if anything like that happens again with any man then I'm leaving and telling Edward to help with a payback."

She smiled and dragged me and Rosalie to the white building that is known as the Diamond Club Cabaret or a new personal hell for me. There was a back door for the employees which we went through. I was surprised it was unlock and gave Alice a puzzled look which she returned with waving her hand dismissively. We walked into a room with mirrors that had light bulbs on top and clothes racks. I looked at Alice who was looking for someone and ignoring me. Once she spotted the person she said, "Wait here."

Rose and I nodded our heads, being the good little pets, and Alice ran to a man. The guy was wearing black pants, red boots, red sunglasses, and a loose white tank top. His hair was different colors of blonde and he was a white man. **(A/N: Just think of the guy from white chicks)**

Ten whole minutes went by with them to talking and laughing. Rose and I made fun of him on how he laughs because instead of one of those low guy laughs it was one of those high giggles. Yes, we call them man giggles. While the minutes were going by we were getting stares at all of the performers. I couldn't help but blush and break eye contact with them. I went back to locking my eyes on Alice and the man. Then he bobbed his head up and down and they both looked at us. He gave us a friendly smile and went back talking. I was about to walk up out since it seemed like their conversation was going to last forever, but they came walking towards us.

"Hey gals! So I heard about your plan, and you like totally rock! Oh and my name is like Dexter. Yeah I know like what a GAY name!" said Dexter.

"Hello Dexter, I'm Bella"

"Rosalie." Rose started looking at her nails.

Dexter glanced at us then at Alice and said, "I wonder what they like look like under all of that."

"You shall never know!" Alice said with a wink.

"Well I decided that I will let all of you do your plan. Maybe I should get on that with you—" I gaged in my mouth just thinking of him in a skimpy outfit, "but I bet some of those guys don't want to see all of this" he said moving his hands up and down his body, " in a g-string." Dexter started laughing his giggly laugh before continuing. "Anyways, if you need any help or don't know how to do a proper dance then I suggest you ask one of these lovely ladies. Bye Alice, have fun!" he air kissed her, wiggled his fingers and skipped off. Yes he skipped off.

"Uh Alice we don't have to ask any of them right?" I asked blushing slightly.

"No, but it may be helpful…."

"Uh huh. So what do we do now?"

"Yeah Alice what's the game plan?" Rose asked.

When I saw Alice's expression I could of swore she had it all down on a little paper diagram of our plan.

"Well I told Dexter that we will be the final act. I was thinking Rosalie will be on the side stage, I'll be on the opposite side stage, and Bella in the middle stage. Eddie, Emm, and Jazz are sitting in the table in front of Bella's stage but mine and Rose's stages are circling them. Damn them boys wanting to be in the middle! Yet YAY for us!"

I was trying to process the fact that I was in the middle.

"W—what?! I c—can't…. be in the middle! What if I fall!?" I was hyperventilating by the time I was finished with my sentence.

"Bella. Bella! Breath use some soothing words or go to your happy place." Alice said soothingly with her hand on my shoulder.

_Become. Vampire. Kill. Alice. Then._

_Think Edward… Ahh Edward._

"There don't you feel better? And OH!" Alice cut off and her face glazed over. She was gone for about 10 seconds and I was considering what I could do to her in the future taking advantage of her blanking out. She came back all sad.

"BEL—LA! It's not nice to hold a grudge! I will appreciate it when you become a vampire you won't take my hands off and slap me with them screaming, 'That's what you get bitch! You and that old man are meant to be!'" Alice practically screamed.

I couldn't help but start laughing at her betrayed expression oblivious to the gaping strippers.

"Alice chill! Ok now what are the boys doing? I'm getting a bad feeling." Rosalie said shaking Alice.

"OH! Yeah…uh...let me see." Alice said before having another vision.

_Wow this is getting old. How can they put up with her going in out, in out? Oh well._ **(A/N: HAHAHA I just realized what I put. I kno nasty me)**

"Crap." Alice said with a pissed look.

"What?" Rose and I said at the same time.

"There is a bar fight and Emmett is debating on joining it, and if he does he'll get kicked out and Edward and Jasper will join him. Rose, why does your husband have to be a dumb ass?"

"Hey, he's my dumb ass. Sadly."

"Well I guess we need to start an hour early or we won't get to enjoy seeing their faces."

I was gaping at her like a fish. I was literally shaking. Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?

I looked around me to see the girls touching up their makeup and spraying more of their cheap perfume. They all had one thing in common: they weren't a nervous wreck like me.

Taking in a deep breath I walked up to a girl with red hair with bleach blond high lights. She was wearing a bra with a mini, mini short skirt. Underneath all that make-up it looked like she would have natural beauty but it was hidden under a plaster of make-up. I was about to turn around and head back to Alice but she spotted me.

_Oh boy._

_Wait! She was glaring at me! What did I do to her!? _

I ran back to Alice and Rosalie with tears in my eyes.

_Damn these mood swings._

Alice saw the whole thing or something because she started comforting me. When I looked over for Rose I couldn't find her.

"What the hell was that for?!" I heard Rosalie's voice and notice that she was by that lady.

"Oh no, I don't think this is going to end well." Alice said.

"I don't know what you're talking about." The stripper said nonchalantly.

"Well carrot top, I'm talking about how you started glaring at my soon to be sister in law." If looks could kill the red hair girl would already have died a thousand deaths. _I would hate to be in her shoes._

"Listen here Blonde," _oh shit_, "my problem is how you get to be in a solo show just like that while it'll take me months! Now back off bitch!" _Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no. She shouldn't have said that._

Right when the stripper finished her sentence Rosalie pounced. And I mean as in a leopard pouncing a baby elk no pun intended. The girl's eyes widen and move to get out of the way but, since Rose is a pissed off vampire, she was too slow so Rose knocked her down. Then she picked her up.

When I looked at Rosalie she had this scary look in her eye that said, "get in my way or you'll end up getting your skin peeled off slowly," so none of the other strippers went to the red haired lady's help. All they did was stare with frightening eyes.

Gripping her a little too tightly, Rosalie walked out of the building with the stripper.

"Alice! She's not going to ear her right!" I said with wide eyes.

"No, that I know of." That was all I got out from her before Rose came back, but without the red haired stripper.

"Rosalie what did you do to that poor lady!" I said or more like panic yelled.

"Well I was about to lock her inside the dumpster but just as I was about to get to the dumpster I saw that old man that hit you with the cane," I shivered, "That's when my evil mind of mine got this idea. So I put my hand over that bitch's mouth and walked up to him. I said to him 'Hey old man! I have something to tell you! Since you like my friend so much that you'll like her even better and the best part is you can keep her for as long as you want for free!' and oh boy did I make his day. He grabbed her arm in a steel grip and took off with her. It's so weird because that old man has such a strong grip."

"Eh I hope he stays away." I scrunched up my face in disgust and shivered.

_Ugh I keep doing that!_

Alice started giggling and said, "Rose he isn't gonna give her back for a while. That old man will keep her busy day and night. Man I actually feel sorry for her! Who knows what he'll do with her."

"I don't, she deserves it," Rosalie said crossing her arms, "No one is allowed to mess with a Cullen."

I couldn't help it but I hugged Rosalie. Her face was priceless. It was covered in shock and it took her a couple of seconds to realize what I just did. She then started patting my back awkwardly.

I let go feeling her awkwardness, so I let go.

"Aww! That was a Kodak moment! So heart filling." Alice said.

Rose and I rolled our eyes at her.

**Edward's POV!**

I have been here for who knows how long but I really wanted to leave and go back to my precious Bella.

Hearing so many nasty thoughts can drive you crazy. So I started singing child songs form 'I'm a Little Teacup' to humming 'Bella's Lullaby' in my head. Mainly I'm just listening to Jasper's thoughts to try to tune everyone out but Jasper got just as bad when he sees someone that reminds him of Alice. I refuse to even look at some of these girls. Emmett needs to make up his mind on if he wants to join that bar fight so, if he does, we can get kicked out.

Don't worry Bella I promise I'll get to you sooner or later.

**Jasper's POV**

_Hey look another Alice! Just different hair and Alice has nicer skin._

During my whole time here I have been looking at other strippers that look like Alice. I know I'm pitiful but you try being me and receive all of these lustful emotions! IT'S NOT FUN! Mainly the only emotions I get that aren't lustful is anger and sadness from Edward and happy and excitement from the strippers.

_OH look she has black spiky hair!_

**Emmett POV**

_BAR FIGHT! BAR FIGHT! WOAH!_

Man don't I want to join that, but there is no way in hell will I get kick out. I have to at least see Edward look at a stripper for more than a glance. And have Jasper suffer. Don't think of me of being the bad guy I just want payback and Alice is helping me for some reason… Oh well!

You see, while Rosalie and I were getting it on Jasper decides on sending us emotions like hate, sadness, disappointment, and anything else he could throw at me. We figured out it was him and was ready to go beat the feelings out of him but Alice said he had an 'emergency' hunting trip and wasn't here. _Stupid pixie._

_Damn I wish I could join that but they are all human and I may hurt them. I wonder what Edward would do if I got into a fight with him?_

**BPOV**

"Bella, it's time to go!" Alice said happily.

I took in a deep breath and walked up to Alice. She made sure to spray all of us again, check our wigs, and perfected (again) our make-up.

As I was walking to the curtain the end of 3 by Britney Spears was ending. Alice disappeared first, then Rosalie, and finally I opened the curtain and walked out trying to control my heartbeat.

I was hit by a bright light as another song was playing. I looked to my right and saw Alice already at her pole her red hair gleaming in the light. Then I looked to my left and saw Rosalie walking slowly to her pole in her skimpy pirate outfit. I saw my pole and walked over to it. Once I got there, which seemed like it took years, and grabbed it tightly swinging around while Bad Girlfriend by Theory of a Dead Man played. _How ironic._

_**My Girlfriend's a dick magnet My Girlfriend's gotta have it**_

_**She's hot, can't stop, up on stage, doing shots, Tip the man he'll**_

_**Ring the bell, get her drunk she'll scream like hell.**_

_**Dirty girl, gettin' down, dance with guys from outta town.**_

_**Grab her ass, actin' tough. Mess with her, she'll fuck you up.**_

_**No one really knows if she's drunk or if she's stoned, but she's**_

_**Comin' back to my place tonight!**_

Taking deep breaths I started swinging and doing all the moves I did to the stop sign. I glanced down to where Alice said where the boys where at and saw Emmett's eyes glancing between me, Rosalie, and Alice, Jasper was just staring at Alice, and my dear Edward was glaring at the floor.

_**She likes to shake her ass she grinds it to the beat**_

_**She likes to pull my hair when I make her grit her teeth**_

_**I like to strip her down she's naughty to the end**_

_**You know what she is, no doubt about it**_

_**She's a bad, bad girlfriend!**_

_**Red thong, Party's on, Love this song, sing along.**_

_**Come together, leave alone, see you later back at home**_

_**No one really knows if she's drunk or is she's stoned**_

_**But she's coming back to my place tonight. I say**_

_**No one really knows just how far she's gonna go,**_

_**But I'm gonna find out later tonight**_

I wrapped my legs around the pole and bend my back. How I did this is a mystery to me. While I was doing that I glanced at Alice and she was crawling around the stage getting money from the men. _I wonder what they told their wives._

_**Doesn't take her long to make things right.**_

_**But does it make her wrong to**_

_**Have the time of her life. the time of her life**_

_**My girlfriend's a dick magnet My girlfriend's gotta have it**_

_**She's a gold digger now you figure out it's over, pull the trigger.**_

_**Futures finished, there it went, savings gone,**_

_**The money spent**_

_**I look around and all I see is, no good, bad and ugly,**_

_**Man she's hot and fixed to be, the future**_

_**Ex-Miss Connolly!**_

_**[Chorus]**_

_**She's a bad, bad girlfriend.**_

_**She's a bad, bad girlfriend.**_

I started doing the same thing as Alice, even though I didn't want to, and crawled around to the men's tables no doubt showing my lacy thong. Men started putting money in every part of my nurse's outfit. Wanting it to end faster I got back up.

"WOAH!" I heard men shouting and notice Rosalie unbuttoning the top of her pirate outfit.

Panic I glanced at Alice to see her jumping off her stage and heading for Jasper. She caught me looking at her and secretly motioned her hand towards Edward.

_Crap! Not yet!_

She glared at me for my hesitant, surly knowing my reluctantness.

Ugh!

I strut, or tried to, towards the end of the stage. I was about to gracefully jump down but me being Bella the klutz I tripped and was about to land on the floor when I felt a familiar set of arms catch me. I looked up to see who my savior was and it was none other than Emmett. I felt the blush creeping up on my face and I looked away. Emmett just laughed and sat me back up. I heard quiet laughter coming from Alice.

_Stupid pixie._

Rosalie was also laughing at me, so I started glaring at her and she motioned towards Edward then grabbed Emmett's shoulder to turn him around.

Bad Romance by Lady GaGa came on while I again walk to Edward, which was still staring at the floor till came up. When I was in front of him he wrinkled his and I laughed softly thinking about that nasty perfume Alice sprayed on me. Edward looked up questionably at me and I put on a straight face.

In a really high voice that I could muster without laughing I said, "I was told to give you a lap dance."

Edward widens his eyes and says politely, "I think you have the wrong guy."

"Your name is Edward right?"

"Uh… Yeah, but I would rather you not do it."

"Don't worry when the next song is over I'll stop." I said in the high voice and winked at him.

He started stuttering.

_My perfect boyfriend stuttering? HA!_

I straddled his lap while my heart started beating rapidly. That song ended and Low by Flo Rida came on. _This is going to fun._ I smiled inwardly.

**Edward POV**

The dirty blonde stripper whose name is Bianca, which I got off of her black haired friend, straddled me. That's when I started freaking out.

_Oh crap._

Emmett:_ Edward don't chicken out if you do then I'll send you naked pictures of Rosalie for 4 months each one in different angles._

I shivered. _Eh!_

I looked back up at Bianca and she was staring at me questionably, but then smiled and started doing other moves on my lap that have never been done on my lap before.

_Holy crap._

She then started to unbutton my shirt. Instinctively I grabbed her hand and that's when I felt a familiar shock.

_What the?_

I started at her and notice that she was wearing green colored contacts and the shape of her face, nose, eyes, and lips were so familiar. Her heart was starting to sped up telling me she was nervous.

_Mhh what a familiar heart beat._

She tried to move her hand out of mine so I let go. I was staring deeply into her fake green orbs as her hand grabbed mine and brought it up to her mouth. She opened her mouth and licked my hand then winked at me like she knew something I don't.

When she let go I smelt my hand.

_Yeah I know weird, but something about her said Bella._

I scrunched my eyebrows and asked, "Bella?"

All she did was smile and kiss me.

**Wow 10 pages long! Review! I'll try to update soon again:)) but I have exams:P**

**So review and I'll give u a shoe:))**


	14. Girls Rule, Boys drool including Lauren

**Dear Santa, WTF! I didn't get Edward! YYY!**

**Dear Giselle, HE DOESN'T EXIST!**

**Dear Santa, yes he does:P in me heart**

**Dear Giselle, well then even if he does you don't own him. SM does.**

**Dear Santa, you suck elves' candy canes. But….MERRY CHRISTMAS!**

**Story Alerts: 95, Favorite Story: 126, Favorite Author: 20, Author Alert: 18, and Reviews: 166! I feel SOOO loved ;)))))**

**EPOV**

When she kissed me I knew instantly that it was Bella so being the vampire I am, I put my hand on the back of her neck and the other on the small of her back kissing her with so much passion. That's when I heard a high pitch voice screaming. CRAP!!!

"HA! I win! I win, win, win, WIN! Eat that SUCKER!" Alice screamed and started doing her happy dance. "WOAH WHO! Now you have to be my SLAVE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Suck on THAT!" She finished gloating and grabbed my love's hand and Rosalie's and tried to head backstage but I wrapped my arms protectively around Bella.

"Where you think you're going?" I whispered into her ear.

She shivered and was about to say something until Alice yanked her away.

"Edward _Cullen_?!"

_Uh oh! RUN!!_

**BPOV**

After Alice pulled me away before I got a chance to reply but was kind of thankful that I didn't have to.

"Alice, what are you doing?" I asked still flustered.

"Oh, we are just going to change out of this crap," she pointed at her makeup, "and we are letting the boys have fun with their visitor." She smirked at the last part.

"Who's here?"

"You'll just have to see tomorrow!" Alice said while poking my nose.

I just rolled my eyes and walked into a dressing room waiting for Alice to bring me a bag. Once I got it I quickly changed out of the clothes and put on the sweats pants and Abercrombie shirt on.

_Alice let me put them in the bag! YAY for me!_

After I changed I walked into the bathroom stall to have a girl moment. Once I was done I went out to look for Alice and Rose who were casually sitting in some chairs. I raised my eyebrow at Alice's innocent expression.

"What did you do?" I said cracking a smile.

"Hmm nothing…yet." She said with a glint in her eye and looked at Rosalie.

"Come on lets go." I started heading towards the boys but Rose grabbed my arm and shoot her head.

"No, wait here for a moment." She gave me a stern look. I sighed and sat on the chair next to her.

My mind wondered around for a couple seconds when I thought about something.

"Hey, you still haven't told me why you put those cameras in the gym."

"UGH! Bella stop asking questions that have to do with tomorrow! I need you to be patient so that tomorrow can be a great day for the three of us." Alice got this crazy look in her eye again.

_Nuh uh! Not this time!_

Without thinking about it I grabbed the brush from the table and hit her with it, hard. She stood still from shock since my human strength couldn't possible hurt her. She and I were transfixed, I for not knowing why I hit her and her from me hitting her. We both jumped at how Rose started laughing. Her laugh was chronic and if she was a human she would be gasping for breath or possibly died from laugher. That broke our frozen state and all three of us ended up laughing with me supported by Alice but ended up falling flat on my face when she dropped to the ground.

"Ow!" My remark just brought another round of laughter for the pixie and model. "Oh shut it. It's not like I can have super vampire reflexes." I mutter the last part while trying to stand up but ended up failing miserably.

"Why did you hit me with a brush?" Alice asked with wide eyes and poked me in the ribs.

"I wanted to take that damn look out of your eye. It scares me to much!"

"Bella, it scares everyone…so get over it!"

I just stuck my tongue out for my response.

"Ok can we go back to the boys I want to go home." Rosalie said with a pout.

"No, both of you are going are going to go to the car while I go talk to Dexter for a….video." Alice smirked and skipped off.

I looked at Rose, shrugged, and walked towards the car.

As we were walking out I asked Rose a question that has been bugging me since we left, "You don't think Alice is going to get a video of us dancing right?"

After thinking about it she said, "No, she wouldn't dare. Plus Emmett and Edward my kill her if she shows people of us prancing around."

I thought about it and figured Rosalie was right and just to wait in the car like a good girl.

* * *

**Eddies POV**!

(The next day)

Something feels wrong. I know it. Ever since the girls left us as the horrible club everything just went wrong. I refuse to think about who we met at the club, so I decided to focus on other peoples thoughts even though I only crave one…

Random student 1: _My hands smell like Taco Bell. I don't eat tacos!_

Random student 2: _Ugh why doesn't he stop talking to me!?_

Random student 3: _I should make my own bomb. To the internet!_

_Note to self: stay away from Eric._

Random student 4: _Can't let the ninjas find me, must hide in building..._

Random student 5: _PEBBLE! You are my pebble. Mmm your name shall be François or maybe…_

Random student 6: _THAT MOTHER FUCKER I'M GOING TO KILL HIM AND CHOP OF HIS-_

Random student 7:_ I can't believe I saw __**him**__ at the strip club..._

Random student 8:_ Tik Tok Tik Tok OWL!_

Random student 9: _MUST HAVE UNDERWEAR! NO GIRL SHALL HAVE EDWARD CULLEN'S UNDERWEAR!_

That thought scared me out of my zone. I looked around to see that on the flag pole was one of my old, old, OLD tidy whities and there by the pole was a bunch of girls. I then notice that Lauren was on top of Jessica's shoulders trying to climb their way up to the underwear. Then some girl with red hair punched this other girl in the face and started to climb the pole but said girl that got punched yanked her by the hair which made both of them fall.

_Only one person could have done this….ALICE!_

Trying to avoid the girls and their animal behavior, I looked around for my freak of a sister.

_Where is she?_

The bell rang signaling for us to go to calls. Today was the day we were suppose to go to the gym while the principal talked to all of the teachers about worthless stuff like a bat flying into Jessica's purse and teachers finding students a stair way having sex. Yeah that kind of crap that a normal school goes through.

I took each step carefully and keeping an eye, and mind, out for Alice, Rosalie, or my wonderful Bella but mainly that Alice.

As I go through my classes I notice that mainly all the girls were damage in some way. It turns out the janitor lady got my underwear and told the girls she threw it away but secretly has my underwear in her bag.

_What a creep._

Plus every time I passed Emmett or Jasper I would ask them if they knew where their partners were at but they too don't know. I was debating on whether or not to go home but by the time we were going to the gym I thought I should stay with my brothers. Once all the students were in the gym I looked around for my sisters and my other half, but to only come up with random kids picking their nose and gossiping. I also notice none of the teachers where in here. Actually there weren't even any adults in here. _How peculiar._

A kid with pants up to his belly button and glasses walk up to the laptop and projector that was in the middle of the gym and put a disk inside the computer.

Nerd: _I hope she's give me my first kiss by doing this._

Dread filled me when I saw the title of the movie pop up on the screen, "Diamond Club Cabaret". I looked over at Jasper and Emmett to see them freaking out and trying to convince themselves it was just a coincidence. Then I looked at the person we ran into at the club and she also was freaking out.

Then the screen was showing Bella straddling me, Alice shaking her ass off for Jasper, and Rosalie showing her breasts to Emmett. There was a lot of whistling and hooting coming from the boys and jealousy coming from the girls. The screen then centered in on me and Bella making out and Alice dancing her pixie dance.

"_HA! I win! I win, win, win, WIN! Eat that SUCKER!" _Alice screamed and started doing her happy dance_. "WOAH WHO! Now you have to be my SLAVE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Suck on THAT!" She finished gloating and grabbed my love's hand and Rosalie's and tried to head backstage but I wrapped my arms protectively around Bella but Alice yanked her away and ran from us boys._

I knew the next part and lowered myself in my seat.

"_Edward __Cullen__?!" yelled a nasally voice. Lauren Mallory appeared on the screen in hot pink stripper's outfit. _

I gagged seeing the image again.

_My face showed panic as I said,_ "_Oh crap."_

_Emmett fell of his chair laughing his ass off while Jasper was scooting his chair away from Lauren._

"_I was like totally NOT expecting you and your like stepbrothers to be with you." She said with that nasally voice of hers._

"_Well… uh… I didn't expect you here either. Uh I guess I'll see you later…bye!" I was stuttering like a fool and I couldn't even escape from the repulsive girl._

"_You can't leave!" She squeaked, "I have to do my job you know so…" That's when she started dancing in front of me. I had a look of pure disgust as I watched Lauren try to dance. Her dancing was so horrible I felt that some part of me barfed and died._

Apparently everyone thought her dancing was bad since they were laughing.

_Lauren then started butt grinding in the air and shaking her arms. I saw the shiver of disgust go through me. Emmett was still laughing and Lauren, feeling she was giving me too much attention, walked over to Emmett and started humping his leg. That made him stop laughing. Then she started doing some disco moves that not even Carlisle would do. _

_Jasper was about to get up when Lauren jumped off of Emmett and landed in front of a panic Jasper. She then put her hands under the skirt and took off her underwear and threw it. Poor Jasper had the underwear land on his head. That's when we ran out like a crazy bat from hell leaving a shocked Lauren behind._

"_Damn they're fast!" Lauren said._

The screen went blank and everyone was quiet.

Again Emmett, Jasper, and I appeared on screen walked out.

"_I feel like I can throw up!" Emmett yelled._

"_She made me feel dirty." I said still grossed out._

"_I'm going to kill you Emmett for dragging me there. I don't know when, where, or how but one day I'm going to make you wish you never brought me here." Jasper said dazed._

"_Come on guys, let's go find the girls." I said and we made our way around the back of the building._

_That's when a hysterical girl came out of nowhere and tackled poor Jasper._

"_OH MY GOD! You have to help me!" the girl with red hair, blond high lights and really revealing clothes said._

"_Uh…" was all that came out of Jasper's mouth._

"_These girls forced me to him and he wouldn't let me go! I had to blind fold him to escape! That old man is…is some kind of cougar!" her makeup was smearing from her crying._

"_Veronica! Where are you darling?" I raspy voice called out._

"_Oh god!" she hid behind Emmett._

_An old man popped out of nowhere like some wizard and was eyeing me and Jasper lustfully then asked, "Hey guys have you seen a girl with red hair?"_

_Speechless Emmett stepped away from the girl._

"_Ah there you are! That wasn't very nice to run off. After all I get to have you as long as I want!" The creepy old man grabbed the girl and walked off with her smacking her butt with his cane._

"_Dude that's was creepy." Emmett said._

"_Scratch that Emmett, I'm going to kill you slowly REAL SOON." Jasper said with a shiver._

The screen went blank again. Everyone started glancing between Lauren and us Cullen boys. _Well great._

Silence broke when Alice, Bella, and Rosalie became visible to everyone and they were laughing hard which caused everyone to start laughing at us. Lauren's face was as red as Mario's hat and not wanting to feel embarrassed anymore I got up and fast ran towards the door to find that its lock. Oh how I wish I could us my vampire strength.

"Sorry Edward but we just love to humiliate our boys." Alice said with a smirk.

Jasper and Emmett was by my side in an instant.

"Man I wish you could have seen your faces," then Alice put on a shock face, "Oh wait you can. I recorded all of your faces including Lauren's." And with that said Rosalie picked up Bella and ran off with Alice at her side. We were shocked.

Emmett: _…this isn't right, usually me and Rose do it tag team…_

Jasper: _I can't believe my sweet little Alice did that to me. Oh the betrayal!_

"Well Edward I didn't think you had it in you." I turned around to see Mike Newton smirking.

"Shut up Newton." I was about to exit and track down the girls but he just had to speak again.

"Do you think I can get a copy of that? I'm sure everyone would like to see the beginning over and over again."

"Emmett hold me back before I badly injure him." I said with clench teeth. Emmett grabbed me and started pulling me outside while I glared daggers at the vile Newton. How I wish to hit him with real daggers. I felt my phone vibrate signaling I had a text message.

_Edward,_

_Remember Girls Rule, Boys Drool._

_Luv yo sis Alice._

_P.S. You cant kill Newton just b/cuz boys r lust over us._

One of these days she'll get hers. I replied with one word and one word only. _Karma_.

**Ok its not as long as last chappy but at least it was 6 pages. I have one more chapter to write and I'll be done. Yea its over but I set up a poll if you want a sequel. SO vote and review or review or vote…well do whatever but just as long as u review and vote:) No press that pretty green button or I'll get that old man after u!!!**

**-Giselle**


End file.
